avyakt7.com blog

Just a brief message to let readers know that the former bkgyan.com has been renamed into "Exploring the Depth of Living" to convey "newness."
This blog will explore Spirituality without a particular religious or philosophical view; it is open to all.

I'd like to invite you to stop by!

Gopal Krishna's blog on Celibacy

Thank you, Gopal for bringing your blog into my awareness. I am linking it here as another reference for celibacy.

http://gopal4mission.com/

As far as "healthy-celibacy," I will continue writing as ideas come up. However, if there are suggested topics  sent to me, I will discuss them right away.
All the best.

New blog with Spiritual Knowledge

I am starting a new blog with

Universal Spiritual Knowledge.

This blog will have very short posts which will go into the essence of a particular topic. I recommend to take a look at those topics, since they will complement the one here; healthy celibacy. Hope you like it! http://avyakt7.wordpress.com/

The phantom of pornography

It is interesting to ponder about some things which humans think to be “normal.”
Pornography is qualified as “normal.” It is considered “normal” and lawful for “adult audiences.” It is supposed to "spicy up" a relationship, when in fact; it is a relationship with a ghost, a phantom living in our own minds.

Mental addiction entails to live in a world which is not real. Just like being addicted to a video game. Addictions of any kind will bring sorrow. It is guaranteed or your "money back."

Have you ever wondered what is the fascination of seeing a picture? A dog may recognize a picture as a piece of paper but a human being can see and interpret things according to the upbringing of their own “intelligent” mind.

Let me challenge the “normality” of something.

Sex lust is not “normal.” Sex lust is a learned behavior. Sex lust has nothing to do with “survival of our ancestors.” Plainly viewed is the mind, the thoughts which arise with the illusion of seeing a body as the true self. That illusion is ingrained; it has been assimilated by our “ancestors.” We have inherited that character trait.

A picture is a still of something which has gone away. There is no “reality” other than something which does not exist anymore. However, our minds have been trained to see that picture as something lasting through time, something which never changes. Something which represents what at one time, at one second; was reality but it is not the real thing anymore.

The word God is not God, but our minds have been trained to believe that word to be God… and then we have “the words of God,” when in fact, there is just interpretation.

That “exciting” picture is not the body represented, but the mind has been trained to gain “excitement” out of a piece of paper or screen colored with many pixels.

Sex-lust is pure mind. The mind is the first “organ” to be excited in sex-lust, then all the physical sensations take over. That realization becomes the popular: "control your mind."

Let me add, it is not about control. It is about realization. Pure awareness.
At that point, the ghost is gone.

Many feel that men are more visual while females are more in tune with the sense of hearing. However, what we can infer is that any sensation coming from the outside is primarily just a sensation which could be interpreted i n many original ways. That interpretation is not reality, what we believe about that sensation to be real, then becomes real to us.

Sex lust is just another interpretation of “love.” It could be considered “love” as long as someone interprets that way. Nevertheless, far from “reality.” There is variety of human beings as there is variety of their interpretations. Some may see celibacy as “good” others as “bad.” Interpretations. However, when there is pain, lack of fulfillment, neediness and dependency most would like the way out. Some may not and would like to enjoy their golden trap. At that point, our ”interpretation of reality” may change.

Love is primarily a feeling which is not related with any particular physical organ.

The feeling of love comes from the real being. That is why sex lust is “conquered” by developing our feelings alone, by being sensitive to our own inner beauty and by being able to find beauty in all manifestations of the outer world. The finding of that real “being” is the purpose of spirituality.

Finding that real being as an experience of the true self. It is what brings about those characteristics of a spiritual being: peace, bliss, generosity and compassion. Through that experience alone which is the reward of a true seeker of the self, we could understand all of that “brain washing” which our minds have been subdue for many years. All that “marketing,” all of those selling pitches about how sex-lust could be so great, so fulfilling and so blissful.

Then, “enhancers” are needed. Anything to enhance the “experience.” New methods, new formulas, new scientific research, new “nonsense,” all in the name of pleasure. Life becomes the pursuit of pleasure, which in duality means the pursue of sorrow as well.

To find the true self, to experience it and to develop the “organs” of the true self, meaning our own feelings; it is the first and most important step to resolve the issue of pornography and sex lust.

A dog knows that a picture is not the real thing, while most of us do not.

You wonder about our own human intelligence sometimes.

Understanding lust by not resisting it

Any path which dictates resistance of some sort; even if that resistance is to something perceived as “bad” or “negative” sooner or later will create a sense of loss in a person (follower of the path) which paradoxically, will increase the power of that which is resisted rather than decrease its power. Take the example of sex lust.

Understanding lust or any other tendency which has been understood as negative for the self has a process which needs to be respected.

In my own experience, I recall realizing first, how much damage sex lust is capable of doing. My feelings weren't the same, the things which I became addicted to because of sex lust were like “masters” dictating my behavior. A life centered in sexual pleasure is a life devoid of meaning, an empty life whose only “heaven” is to feel pleasure if even for a moment and to try to enhance it in every known little way available. That type of life style is surely a very sorry state.

Once that state of realization is experienced at the mental level, then “normally” all religious and dogmatic life styles will bring “fear” as an ingredient to avoid succumbing to the “temptation.” This is a “good” starting point for the “flower” who is starting to grow. That flower needs protection from the environment to survive; however, as soon as the flower feels ready for something different, there is a need to outgrow that fear. In spirituality, the flower must transform itself into a strong tree to survive by its own strength., without dependencies.

In my experience by following a religious path, I was able to recognize the danger of sex lust. After experiencing the benefits of a spiritual life away from that which was considered “normal” at one point in my life, I was able to recognize the value of spirituality and to finally feel goodness, peace and inner strength. In a nutshell, to be free from the slavery of sexuality. It is slavery because sexuality becomes the main objective to fulfill when relating with people. That is the thing which sells, which we think gives happiness, which we think brings “bliss.” However, it is a mirage, a costly illusion.

It is very important to develop our being through feelings. To be able to feel love and tenderness without being sexual. The way I was taught that lesson, was through being completely away from any “distraction,” any temptation.... at that point it was about building love and pure feelings from the heart which cannot develop if we are engaged in the pleasures of the flesh. Love is spiritual in nature; there is no duality of “pleasure” and “pain” in it which are characteristics of a merely physical awareness and experience.

Once I was ready and my feelings were developed, I started feeling beauty and expressing it in a different way. I was more engaged in Nature, in observing Nature and in feeling its beauty.... I began understanding God and the beauty of feeling God.
All of the sudden I began writing poetry and expressing myself in a kinder way towards others, “naturally.”

At that point, my life path took me back to the world of “normal” people. That was the time when I learned massage therapy which is a “Never do it” for “bona fide,” serious spiritual seekers.

Never mind giving a loving massage to the opposite gender. Forget about attractive bodies, that is the “temptation”... I was playing in the field of “temptation.”

Interestingly enough, because I learned to transform sexual feelings into feelings from the heart, my “transition” was good. It was hard. It was a “growing process” but it needed to be conquered, mastered if I wanted to be free from this “temptation,” which later becomes a repression A very strong repression.

That step (to go back to the “normal” world) is not recommended unless we are certain that we have gone through the full journey, and recognized that to master something, we first need to be away from it to become stronger, but eventually we must go back and deal with the issue. There is no timing, but we should know when ready, if ever.

Paradoxically, massage therapy has been a blessing for me. It is an art to give a good loving massage and to be able to express love and pure feelings through touch. That art, which is healing to the self has been distorted by distorted minds highly influenced by sex lust. It is time to recognize that. “Normal” people with “normal” lustful feelings are killing this wonderful art of healing through sex lust.

The sign of the master of the the self is that he is not only able to transform the self, but to transform what he does into something beautiful and helpful to others and to the self, that is to “be” beauty itself.

Sexual Energy

Perhaps it is amazing for the majority of people that energy is the root of our communication. Some people may call that “vibes.”

Sexuality has its own vibration which could be sent in different ways. It is the vibration of people involved which will bring sexual desire.

There could be 2 individuals who are physically attracted to each other, as long as one of them does not send “sexual vibes” things may not happen unless it is forceful and that is why one good reason to label sex as violence; the other one is the “ slow killing” of the self by depleting valuable creative energy from the being.

As a massage therapist, I am exposed to several kinds of energies from individuals. “Normal” people will not be sensitive to this. These energies have the possibility to affect the therapist or the client depending on whose energy field is higher.

In every interaction, we are either giving or taking “vibes” to/from others. It is important to be conscious of this “reality” and to learn to “protect” the self.

Sexual vibes are transmitted in the same way. If someone is passive and receives it, that person will change his behavior if affected.

Language by sound or body language does not have the effect of a vibrational field of an individual who is basically made of energy. Everything is energy, whether we feel it or not.

Many times we could “feel” something different from a particular individual. That is energy. It is not just that someone feels attracted to someone else through a physical characteristic or a skill that someone displays, but basically that attraction could be very intense due to the emotions driven by feelings, the “vibes.”

Until we learn to discriminate and to protect ourselves from those “vibes,” our behavior could be easily changed by coming into contact with another with a stronger “vibe.”

This, you can experiment everyday in your personal contacts with another.

The best protection is to constantly give “energy” by having good wishes and pure feelings from the heart in every interaction, and for this we must be “aware” and practice.

Can you love without being sexual?

The straight answer is: YES. As a matter of fact, non sexual love is way deeper than any form of physical pleasure.
How is it expressed? As close or as distant as you would like to be to a person, it could be expressed through the body or through feelings transmitted through the eyes or even through feelings transmitted through thoughts.

As “impossible” as the above description may seem, it is completely possible.

In a “normal” relationship, closeness is expressed through sexuality. The problem with that is that there is an inherent conflict with feelings coming from the soul (spiritual nature) and pleasure experienced through the body. Any form of physical pleasure is dualistic in nature, meaning that suffering will be experienced with the same intensity of pleasure. Moreover, physical pleasure creates an immediate response in our consciousness. That response is expressed as “possession” of that which is “loved.”

Please see the contradiction. Something which is really loved, cannot be possessed. Physical “love” entails a dependency which is proportional to the amount of feelings towards another person. Jealousy, insecurity and hate/love emotional outbursts are the sign of physical “love.”

Basically, sexuality creates a “bond” or dependency towards another if there is any feelings of closeness in between. There is a mixture of physical bondage with spiritual feelings.

The problem becomes even greater as most individuals do not know what spiritual love is. For most love means the experience of lust (for another body) combined with emotional attachment...then, if sexual pleasure is added into the mix, the result is confusion.

Love. Real love is related with feelings. Feelings are of spiritual nature alone. Love is beyond duality. Love doesn't give pleasure nor pain. Love is completely fulfilling in itself without anyone's approval or disapproval. There is no possibility to experience “real” love unless we separate ourselves from lustful sexuality and its bondage of attachment. Otherwise, the physical “urges” will take precedence over spirituality since most individuals have not been trained in spiritual practices.

This means that for the immense majority of people, the second chakra will take precedence over the fourth one (heart) as most individuals express themselves through the lower chakras only ( Third and
below) rather than using the 4th (heart) and above.

Physically speaking men and women express duality and the search for completion, for unity. Both energies should be complementary of each other, however; that is not the case in a high percentage of individuals. That is why, usually relationships are set up with one person above the other, a dominant and a passive one. That is way out balance, not complementary.

Physically speaking, women have greater capacity of sexuality than men. This fact was studied by Taoists. Their answer to the problem was for a man to retain its semen for all sexual relationships and to be able to release that energy at will in limited occasions. This requires training. The aim in this Taoist type of sexuality is to “satiated women” and for men to gain subtle energies through sexuality.

The idea of men having several partners then, became part of the Taoist system. It is important to note, that this method became very important for the Chinese “higher ups” for they used to have many wives and therefore, their vitality was suffering tremendously by releasing precious energy every time with every partner.

Nowadays, the issue is still there. This Taoist method has its problem as well. Since it deals with “techniques” of pleasuring a sexual partner (duality,) spiritual love is out. By placing all importance on the sexual, pleasurable aspect and techniques; spiritual love, non-dual love is forgotten.

Celibacy is the path to experience fulfillment, detachment and deep love from the heart. Unfortunately, this path is not for everyone, for it requires more than anything; sensibility to beauty and a deep development of feelings which not everyone has taken the time to develop.

Real love has nothing to do with “sweaty passion.” It has nothing to do with “noisy pleasure.” It has nothing to do with criminal lustful eyes or killing the self for the sake of pleasure.

Real love is experienced as care, tenderness, understanding and constantly nurturing a relationship... of course, the keyword is "constantly"....