Healthy Celibacy

The phantom of pornography

2012-01-27T17:17:00.003-05:00

It is interesting to ponder about some things which humans think to be “normal.”
Pornography is qualified as “normal.” It is considered “normal” and lawful for “adult audiences.” It is supposed to "spicy up" a relationship, when in fact; it is a relationship with a ghost, a phantom living in our own minds.

Mental addiction entails to live in a world which is not real. Just like being addicted to a video game. Addictions of any kind will bring sorrow. It is guaranteed or your "money back."

Have you ever wondered what is the fascination of seeing a picture? A dog may recognize a picture as a piece of paper but a human being can see and interpret things according to the upbringing of their own “intelligent” mind.

Let me challenge the “normality” of something.

Sex lust is not “normal.” Sex lust is a learned behavior. Sex lust has nothing to do with “survival of our ancestors.” Plainly viewed is the mind, the thoughts which arise with the illusion of seeing a body as the true self. That illusion is ingrained; it has been assimilated by our “ancestors.” We have inherited that character trait.

A picture is a still of something which has gone away. There is no “reality” other than something which does not exist anymore. However, our minds have been trained to see that picture as something lasting through time, something which never changes. Something which represents what at one time, at one second; was reality but it is not the real thing anymore.

The word God is not God, but our minds have been trained to believe that word to be God… and then we have “the words of God,” when in fact, there is just interpretation.

That “exciting” picture is not the body represented, but the mind has been trained to gain “excitement” out of a piece of paper or screen colored with many pixels.

Sex-lust is pure mind. The mind is the first “organ” to be excited in sex-lust, then all the physical sensations take over. That realization becomes the popular: "control your mind."

Let me add, it is not about control. It is about realization. Pure awareness.
At that point, the ghost is gone.

Many feel that men are more visual while females are more in tune with the sense of hearing. However, what we can infer is that any sensation coming from the outside is primarily just a sensation which could be interpreted i n many original ways. That interpretation is not reality, what we believe about that sensation to be real, then becomes real to us.

Sex lust is just another interpretation of “love.” It could be considered “love” as long as someone interprets that way. Nevertheless, far from “reality.” There is variety of human beings as there is variety of their interpretations. Some may see celibacy as “good” others as “bad.” Interpretations. However, when there is pain, lack of fulfillment, neediness and dependency most would like the way out. Some may not and would like to enjoy their golden trap. At that point, our ”interpretation of reality” may change.

Love is primarily a feeling which is not related with any particular physical organ.

The feeling of love comes from the real being. That is why sex lust is “conquered” by developing our feelings alone, by being sensitive to our own inner beauty and by being able to find beauty in all manifestations of the outer world. The finding of that real “being” is the purpose of spirituality.

Finding that real being as an experience of the true self. It is what brings about those characteristics of a spiritual being: peace, bliss, generosity and compassion. Through that experience alone which is the reward of a true seeker of the self, we could understand all of that “brain washing” which our minds have been subdue for many years. All that “marketing,” all of those selling pitches about how sex-lust could be so great, so fulfilling and so blissful.

Then, “enhancers” are needed. Anything to enhance the “experience.” New methods, new formulas, new scientific research, new “nonsense,” all in the name of pleasure. Life becomes the pursuit of pleasure, which in duality means the pursue of sorrow as well.

To find the true self, to experience it and to develop the “organs” of the true self, meaning our own feelings; it is the first and most important step to resolve the issue of pornography and sex lust.

A dog knows that a picture is not the real thing, while most of us do not.

You wonder about our own human intelligence sometimes.

Understanding lust by not resisting it

2011-07-15T22:48:00.000-04:00

Any path which dictates resistance of some sort; even if that resistance is to something perceived as “bad” or “negative” sooner or later will create a sense of loss in a person (follower of the path) which paradoxically, will increase the power of that which is resisted rather than decrease its power. Take the example of sex lust.

Understanding lust or any other tendency which has been understood as negative for the self has a process which needs to be respected.

In my own experience, I recall realizing first, how much damage sex lust is capable of doing. My feelings weren't the same, the things which I became addicted to because of sex lust were like “masters” dictating my behavior. A life centered in sexual pleasure is a life devoid of meaning, an empty life whose only “heaven” is to feel pleasure if even for a moment and to try to enhance it in every known little way available. That type of life style is surely a very sorry state.

Once that state of realization is experienced at the mental level, then “normally” all religious and dogmatic life styles will bring “fear” as an ingredient to avoid succumbing to the “temptation.” This is a “good” starting point for the “flower” who is starting to grow. That flower needs protection from the environment to survive; however, as soon as the flower feels ready for something different, there is a need to outgrow that fear. In spirituality, the flower must transform itself into a strong tree to survive by its own strength., without dependencies.

In my experience by following a religious path, I was able to recognize the danger of sex lust. After experiencing the benefits of a spiritual life away from that which was considered “normal” at one point in my life, I was able to recognize the value of spirituality and to finally feel goodness, peace and inner strength. In a nutshell, to be free from the slavery of sexuality. It is slavery because sexuality becomes the main objective to fulfill when relating with people. That is the thing which sells, which we think gives happiness, which we think brings “bliss.” However, it is a mirage, a costly illusion.

It is very important to develop our being through feelings. To be able to feel love and tenderness without being sexual. The way I was taught that lesson, was through being completely away from any “distraction,” any temptation.... at that point it was about building love and pure feelings from the heart which cannot develop if we are engaged in the pleasures of the flesh. Love is spiritual in nature; there is no duality of “pleasure” and “pain” in it which are characteristics of a merely physical awareness and experience.

Once I was ready and my feelings were developed, I started feeling beauty and expressing it in a different way. I was more engaged in Nature, in observing Nature and in feeling its beauty.... I began understanding God and the beauty of feeling God.
All of the sudden I began writing poetry and expressing myself in a kinder way towards others, “naturally.”

At that point, my life path took me back to the world of “normal” people. That was the time when I learned massage therapy which is a “Never do it” for “bona fide,” serious spiritual seekers.

Never mind giving a loving massage to the opposite gender. Forget about attractive bodies, that is the “temptation”... I was playing in the field of “temptation.”

Interestingly enough, because I learned to transform sexual feelings into feelings from the heart, my “transition” was good. It was hard. It was a “growing process” but it needed to be conquered, mastered if I wanted to be free from this “temptation,” which later becomes a repression A very strong repression.

That step (to go back to the “normal” world) is not recommended unless we are certain that we have gone through the full journey, and recognized that to master something, we first need to be away from it to become stronger, but eventually we must go back and deal with the issue. There is no timing, but we should know when ready, if ever.

Paradoxically, massage therapy has been a blessing for me. It is an art to give a good loving massage and to be able to express love and pure feelings through touch. That art, which is healing to the self has been distorted by distorted minds highly influenced by sex lust. It is time to recognize that. “Normal” people with “normal” lustful feelings are killing this wonderful art of healing through sex lust.

The sign of the master of the the self is that he is not only able to transform the self, but to transform what he does into something beautiful and helpful to others and to the self, that is to “be” beauty itself.

Sexual Energy

2011-07-12T20:59:00.000-04:00

Perhaps it is amazing for the majority of people that energy is the root of our communication. Some people may call that “vibes.”

Sexuality has its own vibration which could be sent in different ways. It is the vibration of people involved which will bring sexual desire.

There could be 2 individuals who are physically attracted to each other, as long as one of them does not send “sexual vibes” things may not happen unless it is forceful and that is why one good reason to label sex as violence; the other one is the “ slow killing” of the self by depleting valuable creative energy from the being.

As a massage therapist, I am exposed to several kinds of energies from individuals. “Normal” people will not be sensitive to this. These energies have the possibility to affect the therapist or the client depending on whose energy field is higher.

In every interaction, we are either giving or taking “vibes” to/from others. It is important to be conscious of this “reality” and to learn to “protect” the self.

Sexual vibes are transmitted in the same way. If someone is passive and receives it, that person will change his behavior if affected.

Language by sound or body language does not have the effect of a vibrational field of an individual who is basically made of energy. Everything is energy, whether we feel it or not.

Many times we could “feel” something different from a particular individual. That is energy. It is not just that someone feels attracted to someone else through a physical characteristic or a skill that someone displays, but basically that attraction could be very intense due to the emotions driven by feelings, the “vibes.”

Until we learn to discriminate and to protect ourselves from those “vibes,” our behavior could be easily changed by coming into contact with another with a stronger “vibe.”

This, you can experiment everyday in your personal contacts with another.

The best protection is to constantly give “energy” by having good wishes and pure feelings from the heart in every interaction, and for this we must be “aware” and practice.

Can you love without being sexual?

2011-07-08T21:47:00.001-04:00

The straight answer is: YES. As a matter of fact, non sexual love is way deeper than any form of physical pleasure.
How is it expressed? As close or as distant as you would like to be to a person, it could be expressed through the body or through feelings transmitted through the eyes or even through feelings transmitted through thoughts.

As “impossible” as the above description may seem, it is completely possible.

In a “normal” relationship, closeness is expressed through sexuality. The problem with that is that there is an inherent conflict with feelings coming from the soul (spiritual nature) and pleasure experienced through the body. Any form of physical pleasure is dualistic in nature, meaning that suffering will be experienced with the same intensity of pleasure. Moreover, physical pleasure creates an immediate response in our consciousness. That response is expressed as “possession” of that which is “loved.”

Please see the contradiction. Something which is really loved, cannot be possessed. Physical “love” entails a dependency which is proportional to the amount of feelings towards another person. Jealousy, insecurity and hate/love emotional outbursts are the sign of physical “love.”

Basically, sexuality creates a “bond” or dependency towards another if there is any feelings of closeness in between. There is a mixture of physical bondage with spiritual feelings.

The problem becomes even greater as most individuals do not know what spiritual love is. For most love means the experience of lust (for another body) combined with emotional attachment...then, if sexual pleasure is added into the mix, the result is confusion.

Love. Real love is related with feelings. Feelings are of spiritual nature alone. Love is beyond duality. Love doesn't give pleasure nor pain. Love is completely fulfilling in itself without anyone's approval or disapproval. There is no possibility to experience “real” love unless we separate ourselves from lustful sexuality and its bondage of attachment. Otherwise, the physical “urges” will take precedence over spirituality since most individuals have not been trained in spiritual practices.

This means that for the immense majority of people, the second chakra will take precedence over the fourth one (heart) as most individuals express themselves through the lower chakras only ( Third and
below) rather than using the 4th (heart) and above.

Physically speaking men and women express duality and the search for completion, for unity. Both energies should be complementary of each other, however; that is not the case in a high percentage of individuals. That is why, usually relationships are set up with one person above the other, a dominant and a passive one. That is way out balance, not complementary.

Physically speaking, women have greater capacity of sexuality than men. This fact was studied by Taoists. Their answer to the problem was for a man to retain its semen for all sexual relationships and to be able to release that energy at will in limited occasions. This requires training. The aim in this Taoist type of sexuality is to “satiated women” and for men to gain subtle energies through sexuality.

The idea of men having several partners then, became part of the Taoist system. It is important to note, that this method became very important for the Chinese “higher ups” for they used to have many wives and therefore, their vitality was suffering tremendously by releasing precious energy every time with every partner.

Nowadays, the issue is still there. This Taoist method has its problem as well. Since it deals with “techniques” of pleasuring a sexual partner (duality,) spiritual love is out. By placing all importance on the sexual, pleasurable aspect and techniques; spiritual love, non-dual love is forgotten.

Celibacy is the path to experience fulfillment, detachment and deep love from the heart. Unfortunately, this path is not for everyone, for it requires more than anything; sensibility to beauty and a deep development of feelings which not everyone has taken the time to develop.

Real love has nothing to do with “sweaty passion.” It has nothing to do with “noisy pleasure.” It has nothing to do with criminal lustful eyes or killing the self for the sake of pleasure.

Real love is experienced as care, tenderness, understanding and constantly nurturing a relationship... of course, the keyword is "constantly"....

Love in the “cause and effect” movie of actions.

2011-06-20T07:49:00.000-04:00

In the topic of emotions, there is one powerful emotion which most everyone is trying to run away from. That is to experience loneliness. The price of not finding a suitable person is defined as loneliness. At least that is the way most would think.
Loneliness is such a dreaded emotion that many are willing to put up with anyone or anything even if that means “hell” for them; as long as they do not feel alone.

The opposite of that loneliness is to have company, although physical company is the only extent that most will experience.

Relationships in our societies are based on the premise of avoiding loneliness at any price.

From a pure spiritual perspective, the experience of loneliness means to face our own reality of feeling disconnected to be connected with our own self and from this position to regain a new connection with others, by being “centered” first. Knowing our own “center” allows us to go back to it when feeling out of balance.

Interestingly, it is impossible to live without connections with other beings, however; the sensation of loneliness is all pervading as long as it does not match our “expectation” of what “should be.”
That expectation usually does not match our own needs but, it is tinted with external voices, opinions and traditions which pressure the individual into something which they may not be ready to face.

It is impossible to live happily in a relationship with another, unless we are truly self sufficient and have been able to live with our own selves, in a few words; to be able to transform that loneliness into being alone, into experiencing the beauty of being aware of the self in all dimensions: likes, dislikes, quirks, vices, virtues, feelings and tendencies. That awareness brings knowledge about the self as if I am looking at another individual in a detached way and through that objective knowledge, I could learn to relate in proper terms with another.
Death of a loved one or even termination of a “relationship” marks that space to test the waters of our ability to be alone. Without this practice, loneliness, fear, anguish, desperation and even guilt will surface and a person without inner strenght will rush into another relationship, just to forget the pain and anguish produced by the end of the previous one. This is a sour discovery of not knowing what love is, but rather attachment and emotional dependency to another. Sort of like drinking alcohol to forget. Sort of like indulging in different pleasurable experiences to forget our own self inflicted sorrow.

That sorrow escalates according to the same intensity of the pleasure or happiness that a particular relationship has brought into our lives. This is knowledge of duality, of the eternal opposites which will manifest sooner or later.

Similarly, because we live in a web of relationships, the person which we meet, the one that we get to know, that we get to like or dislike, all of those magical things which appear to be “marvelous” and “enchanting” are just consequences of that principle of “cause and effect.” It surely will be bait ready to be eaten...again.

Whatever we have done before will self perpetuate in our own lives as long as we remain the same. Notice that I don't write :”as long as we keep doing the same,” but rather “being the same.” Doing is the consequence of being. We do wrong if our weaknesses overtake our values/virtues in a particular situation.

Therefore, the root cause of our inability to deal with a web of bondage of relationships in life goes back to our inability to know honestly our own self. That ability comes when living in a space of “loneliness.” Sometimes that which we fear, is the thing that we need the most.

On love and relationships

2011-06-14T14:40:00.003-04:00

Many times fulfillment is found when we find another (??)... Paradoxically, that is far from fulfillment.

Finding another for company could be constructive once we are at ease with our own selves, once loneliness is completely gone, not through others but in "self-relationship." This is a basic axiom of finding spirituality in our life. Without a closer look "inside" we cannot pretend to reach the "outside" with edification in our lives. Society in general, and its "laws" and traditions dictates that "togetherness" is in fact necessary. A "couple" is needed to reproduce and to care for its own off-springs, sort of what animals do in their own hierarchical structure. However, ego, lust, anger and other economically exploited weaknesses belong to humans. That lack of ego in animals allows them to live in a very ordained way for self preservation of their own species. That structure allows them to survive.... unless the egotistical human being appears in their path.

Two human beings displaying ego, lust, anger and attachment could never find what love is; for love is selfless. There is no motive to it. No transaction. No "kickback."

Western human beings in general believe in "falling in love," (something unknown to other cultures) and in making such a state to last for a lifetime. That is an illusion. "Falling in love" does not mean a lasting relationship. Commitment means a lasting relationship, however; commitment is not necessarily related with "falling in love" but perhaps surprisingly, is related with love. "True" love.

Commitment is a mature way of relating. It is no longer about "me" and my needs which need to be fulfilled by "you." Nor about "you" being before "me." Commitment places value in a relationship and what it implies to keep it alive. A relationship means "togetherness" and in that "individuality" is merged. Commitment demonstrates care. It is about actions. It is about walking our own talk.

There cannot be commitment to another unless we find meaning in committing to our own selves first. That commitment entails the pursue of those values which enhances our own life and the the lives of others. That is called sometimes, self-respect. It is through the nourishing soil of self-respect how its fruit, love; appears.

The experience of love in our lives brings the ideal of beauty close to our hearts. Those feelings become our own "fuel" our own self fulfillment and magically; enlighten the path of others touched by that light. Love transcends "me" to reach others, when "me" is no longer there.

The addiction of sex lust

2011-01-08T10:25:00.001-05:00

Lust has many ways of expression through different senses. Lust is usually referred as the "greatest enemy."

For a "normal" individual, lust is not a "vice." It is a "natural" way to demonstrate "love." That "natural love" sooner or later will be mixed with desire, jealousy and possessiveness; because there is a physical "high" called pleasure that is associated with "sex lust."

That physical pleasure when mixed with possessiveness, physical attraction and the need to feel complete with another creates an addiction that it is hard to overcome.

That addiction, that necessity is like a powerful drug which blocks any subtlety. It blocks our path to complete freedom. Neediness in another is created which needs to be fulfilled and thus, our senses become more attached to a physical being, their emotions and desires. Lust then becomes attachment and that attachment could become a source of ego, if you are the dominant part of the "relationship."

Yes..it is a "master and servant" game. Always someone is the master and the other a servant, even though these roles could change; it is the same game. There is no equality in the long run. That holds true for even the most "loving" relationship at this time.

Our society has made those ingredients to appear as "highly desirable." They call it "romantic love," love or just plain lust.

Since matter is dualistic, the price for pleasure is high.

Also, there is the issue with "newness." The "object of desire" loses its value once it is possessed. Once sex lust becomes a routine, there is a need for change to "enhance the experience." This is how adultery usually happens. The mind drifts away from the "relationship" searching for a new "high." Then, the body follows and then the action happens....or it could be repressed which causes resentment and suffering….hate in its deeper moments.

Most humans have tried to "control" or “regulate” sex lust by different means because of their perceived negative effects to society but the "drug" is quite strong. So, most if not all, have failed in one way or another.

Separation of genders was the answer. Extreme forms of repression or suppression of the intrinsic human need to feel "complete" through a relationship with another... and even extreme things as blinding someone or damaging genital organs, to the “mild” use of contraceptives are in fashion when finally society realized that will power was no longer “in vogue” in a “yo-yo” society like ours.

Sex lust is conquered once sexual energy is transferred into feelings. Once the energy accumulated in the lower chakras (which stays there and need to be released) is moved through the use of feelings from the heart. Those feelings are related with our vision with a person.

That vision needs to be paired with pure feelings and those feelings need to be sent to that person. It is all about transferring energy. This is the practical use of "good feelings and pure wishes."

If this step hasn’t been mastered, the thought of "sex-lust" will linger in the intellect until a profound realization of the implications of this act is realized.

Once we become honest with ourselves and see that we cannot be engaged into sex lust anymore because there is "suffering disguised" (jealousy, possessiveness, neediness) and the perception that our life energy is depleted, then at that point; sex lust is over in the mind. Our will power takes over. Once our feelings are developed and transmute sexual energy, then sex lust is over from our being. The “drug” effect is over. We are free.

Have you conquered lust?

2010-09-28T15:11:00.001-04:00

Many believe that lust is a “natural” function of the eyes: “The criminal eyes”. For some, to “control the eyes” is the answer to control lust. Some, don't even care about controlling lust for they feel that they “like it like that”. Different answers form different perspectives and different realities.
A garbage can is filthy for a well educated human; but for a fly... it is heaven.

Lust has been a problem for many in the history of humanity. Wars have been waged in the name of lust. No wonder in the path of bhakti (devotion), there are stories of people taken their eyes and becoming blind.
Or how about those who “renounce” the opposite gender? Or those who call the “opposite gender names” to feel “safe” and “victorious” because they have “rejected” their source of “temptation”.

Conquering lust is not the adequate term once the “fear” and “repugnance” of such a “dirty behavior” is not suppressed in our search for celibacy, but rather understood. “Conquering” means an everlasting battle. It is about transformation.

We cannot “conquer” one side of duality. We need to embrace duality and transform the energy of it.
Rejection is out. Suppression is out. Fear is out.

Sounds good? Let us make it plain and simple.

There is an advice from older traditions, for those trying to remain celibate: “See everyone as brothers and sisters.” A deeper understanding of these words will point into transforming our vision.
Simple?
Once our vision changes, our attitude will change. Once our attitude changes; that will make an impact (perception) on others.

This practice requires extreme awareness and to develop the feelings to overcome the “habit” of behaving/ sending the vibes of a “normal” Joe: “I want you, let me make it clear.” That is the so called “normal” behavior.

We have learned to put the physical body first in our awareness and we have forgotten about the feelings. A male may “see” someone desirable or a female may “hear” something “nice” from someone. That does not trigger anything until our emotions kick in.... emotions are feelings in the consciousness of the body, in dualism.
Therefore, maintaining our vision is the first step. That vision automatically creates our attitude (our actions, behavior) and that creates an impact on the other person that we are dealing with.

Transforming those feelings of “here is something which I desire” to “here is something which I care for” makes a difference. Our attitude then will be of care for the other person.

That caring vibration has an impact on the person which we care about. He/She will say about us: “such a sweet caring person”. That is the “impact”.

The same happens when someone describes myself to another person. That perception of me is the “impact” that I have imprinted due to my attitude towards someone. The origin was my vision. I transformed my vision.

Devotion and traditional guru advice tells me: “do not look at someone below the eyes, otherwise that is where problems start”. That is plain body consciousness. My vision does not deal with my eyes, it deals with my feelings. I am a soul, my language are my feelings...

As my vision changes my physical eyes will change as well. I cannot have “criminal eyes” if my vision has changed.
My vision deals with the knowledge, the experience that “I am a soul” and so the other person is just another point of light moving that body. My thoughts are not there to interfere with waste of duality, but just my feelings are there for that moment.

Why a 4 year old male/female looks at a 5 year old of a different gender without the “criminal eye”?
That kid vision makes the difference. As his/her vision; his/her behavior will be... and as such, his/her impact will be on the other person.
Thus, vision makes our attitude and our attitude makes an impact (perception that others have about us).

Celibacy starts in our vision and our vision is supported by knowledge of our true nature.

Experiences from reader "H." in the path of Celibacy

2010-09-14T21:37:00.002-04:00

Diet
a)I have completely given up eggs now and any protein supplements. I am using almonds which i soak up at night in water and eat in the morning.
b) I am also eating oatmeals and a lot of vegetables.
c) I will also try quinoa . I did not find it in walmart, seems like this is kept in health stores only.

About sleep
I have been trying to change my sleep pattern to sleep earlier and am still struggling. It takes me a while to sleep (like an hour ), but hopefully I will be able to overcome this soon. I also wash my legs with cold water before going to sleep, I find this to be very relaxing and also good defense against dreams.

Other
One more thing I have found is that if I am exercising self restraint in my senses but yet if I give in to some kind of procrastination- like delaying something which I need to do or being afraid of something, sooner or later I lose my seed. Over a long period of trial and error - I have come to firmly see this pattern emerge that brahmacharya is conservation of energy in all departments and moderation in all aspects. If I am exercising restraint in only the 1 aspect , sooner or later , the past cravings come out.
I have been able to exercise my restraint for a month regularly and after that it just hounds me. I am still determined. I have always wanted to be continent for a period of 100 days and feel that superb energy and bliss that so many people describe and am very hopeful that I can achieve it someday.

HEALTH: PURITY, UNITY AND HARMONY

2010-09-08T18:20:00.000-04:00

Stumbled by "chance" into this... Thought it was worthwhile to share it.

Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov on
HEALTH: PURITY, UNITY AND HARMONY
Causes of illnesses: the impurities

« Illnesses can have all kinds of causes, but in reality what lies at the basis of an illness, of whatever kind, are the impure elements a person has allowed to penetrate their physical organism or their psychic organism. These elements cause disorders because they do not vibrate in harmony with the healthy part of their organism. If, however, they succeed in driving them out or transforming them, health is restored. This is why purity is so important for our mental and physical health. And by purity I mean rejection of any element that interferes with the proper functioning of our organism. Unfortunately, as soon as people hear the word purity, they stop listening. Purity, to them, is a restricting concept, outmoded, good only for convents, and so they continue to swallow whatever comes along: indigestible food, polluted atmosphere, dark thoughts and chaotic feelings. When will they understand that it is these very impurities that make them ill? If they worked on purity their health would improve, they would become more intelligent, wiser and stronger. »

« There are two main causes which are producing diseases and sufferings: first is physical: incorrect food and incorrect breathing; second is psychic: incorrect thoughts and incorrect feelings.
A great part of diseases are due to disorders of feelings; and many diseases are due to disorders of reflexion. » (Peter Deunov)
Definition of health: harmony

« Health is the result of the work all the organs of our body carry out together and in harmony for the good of our whole being. From the moment, therefore, an element enters our organism that does not obey this law of harmony it creates disturbances, and these disturbances, this disharmony is what we know as illness. The same phenomenon occurs in the psychic organism. When the thoughts, feelings and desires of human beings let in elements that do not vibrate in harmony with their entire inner being, they also let in illness. So, when you feel troubled, instead of looking for complicated reasons why you should feel this way, understand that you have allowed chaotic and dark thoughts and feelings into your head and your heart. Seek them out and try to eliminate them. »

« A person comes to seek my advice on her health: she has consulted all the doctors, taken every possible remedy, but there is no improvement. I tell her: "Since you have tried everything and nothing has worked, well now, try a remedy that you have not thought of. Harmonize yourself with the sublime creatures of the universe and tell them: 'I love you, I am in harmony with you, I want to accomplish the will of God...' and gradually you will feel an improvement." If people are sick, it is because they have troubled the inner order that nature has established within them. That is why they have to be taught some lessons, in order to learn to reestablish harmony. The whole universe sings this harmony, and the one who does not have respect for it is expelled. »
Prevention

« A man owns a beautiful car. He is extremely vigilant with regard to its maintenance, he uses the highest grade petrol in it, fits it with the best tyres, and so on. But when he gets into it he is not careful, nor is he able to keep his self-control. He performs rough and dangerous manoeuvres, he drives at great speed, he brakes suddenly, and then of course this poor man-handled car soon breaks down. Well, this is how most human beings treat their physical body. They are not in the least bit aware of the marvel their organism represents, in what workshops it was built, how much work the spirit put into it and how much it cost the Creator to perfect it. You will say you treat your physical body with care and respect. Maybe, but that is not enough. If you really want to be in good health then you must be attentive, provident and careful, in other words avoid impassioned states, chaotic thoughts and emotions, all of which weaken and wear out your organism. »
Food

« One of people's main concerns nowadays is to be able to eat healthy food. It is of course highly desirable that food should not be contaminated, but it is also important for those people who are involved in its preparation to be aware that the food they handle becomes impregnated with their emanations and subsequently passes these on to those who eat it. People use their hands to prepare food and a person's hands magically transmit something of this person's quintessence. Chefs, cooks, bakers and all those people who prepare food for their families on a daily basis must know this law of chemistry and magic. With this knowledge they will then get into the habit of touching food, conscious that what they are holding in their hands will contribute to the edification of the body of people nearby and far away, persons known and persons unknown. This is a huge responsibility and it is therefore worthwhile for them to endeavour to be dwelling in the best inner state when they prepare food, fostering thoughts of good health, peace and light for those who are due to eat it. »
Links

« Nothing happens to us by mere chance. Our thoughts and feelings bring us into contact with entities, currents and elements in space that correspond to those thoughts and feelings, and we end up attracting them. This is how health and illness, strength and weakness, intelligence and short-sightedness, beauty and ugliness in people come about. We attract these physical and psychic states, and so, if you are faced with problems in this life, it is because through ignorance you attracted unhealthy and unsound elements in the past. So now you know the real reason why things happen in your life, resolve to work on your thoughts and feelings, because you will then connect with the purest and most luminous entities and regions in the universe and you will receive from them all the qualities you need to rebuild yourself: beauty, strength, intelligence, and so on. This is the true secret of resurrection. »
Doctor and medicines

« When a doctor prescribes medicines for the sick, does he explain to them that the state of mind in which they take them can contribute to their efficacy? No, he acts as if human beings were merely machines that must be repaired. A good doctor, on the other hand, also points out rules of life to his patients and even some exercises by means of which they will establish balance, peace and harmony within themselves. Even if these methods prove to be inadequate in the face of a grave illness, the patient will at least spend what life he has left in activities that are useful. Above all, it is essential to find a beneficial activity to which you can dedicate yourself, for everything has consequences, if not in the physical world, at least in the world of the spirit. »

« Doctors should understand that merely healing the sick is not sufficient. They should also put a few truths in their patients' heads at the same time. I ask a doctor this question:
- "You have made these people better, haven't you. But did they subsequently change their lifestyle? Are they not going to continue their ridiculous ways and become ill again?"
- "Well yes, unfortunately this is true."
So it is clear that before agreeing to cure people, doctors should enlighten their patients in order to prevent them from falling prey to the same excesses and victim of the same imbalances. If I were a doctor I would simply refuse to look after people who did not first promise me to improve their lifestyle. Since I would not ask to be paid I would ask them at least to pay the Lord by improving themselves. And if they refused to make this promise I would send them elsewhere. Of course, if someone has just been rescued from the water or is suffocating, that is not the time to extract promises from them. They have to be saved. But I want doctors to understand it is not sufficient to cure people "for the time being", they should also enlighten them so they may find permanent good health again...»
Perspiring - exchanges

« Perspiring is good for your health. But perspiring physically, i.e. sweating, is not enough, and do not be surprised if I tell you that the soul and the spirit must also perspire. Love makes the soul perspire and wisdom makes the spirit perspire. Of course the word perspiring must be understood in a very wide sense. Perspiration symbolizes a perfect exchange that is established between the microcosm (humankind) and the macrocosm (the universe). Physically, these exchanges occur through the skin, as we discard waste and absorb energy through the skin. In the subtle plane, however, these exchanges occur through the aura, which is our spiritual skin. So, if I say that, like our physical body, our soul and our spirit must also perspire, I am referring to the exchanges we must make in the subtle planes with divine wisdom and love. »
A key: love

« Love, and all doors will open up to you. So stop asking yourself why you are unhappy, why you suffer so many setbacks, and so on. The reason is simply that you have no love. If you had love, nothing would resist you, because when you have love you do not stay there doing nothing. Someone will say:
- "I'm ill."
- "Well, exactly, it's because you have no love."
- "But what is the connection?"
- "If you had love for health, good health would have established itself in you long ago. If you are ill, it's because you do not really love health. So there you have it."
Once you have love for all that is good, for all that is beautiful, and you live with this love day and night, no force in the universe will be able to resist you. Because there is nothing above love. Love has created the world and all forces obey love. »

More on Love & Healing, including an Amazing Near Death Experience & Journey Into the Love and Light of God Followed By Cancer Healing.
Circulation - life

« We are immersed in a world of spiritual abundance, and if most people fail to benefit from these blessings, it is because their inner channels are obstructed so all free circulation is blocked. This is why initiatic science has only one aim: to teach us how to purify ourselves so that all contacts can be reconnected and so that divine life can flow unhindered within us. When divine life flows freely, our physical bodies and especially our psychic bodies (emotional, mental and spiritual) are provided with everything they need for excellent health. If there is no circulation, then death gradually encroaches. So each day, several times a day, remember to cleanse, to purify. Let the waters flow, the celestial waters of heaven. Visualize yourself standing in a torrent or under a waterfall; imagine that your impurities are swept away and that you become as transparent as crystal. Since effective methods such as this exist, why not make use of them? »

The circulation in all domains is an important element of health.
Numerous disturbances or freezings are at origin of numerous diseases. Then, exchanges do not work correctly any more and disorders appear.
For example, scars provoke dams interrupting circulations and exchanges. These obstacles are the cause of disorders which go in amplifying with the time. And so years later, diseases appear by disrupting the organs functioning which are in contact with the place of the scar...
In the body, there are numerous systems which all have to work harmoniously to be healthy: cardio-vascular system, lymphatic system, respiratory system, nervous system, digestive system, energy systems (knew of acupuncture, acupressure, reflexology), glandular or endocrinian system (closely connected to the system of chakras), etc... Each of these systems is in connection with one or several subtle bodies (etherical, astral, mental, causal, budda, atman,... body).
For example, the etheric body contains the meridian lines of acupuncture and the chakras of hinduism. The chakras are doors communicating and exchanging between the physical body and the other subtle bodies, which are seats of feelings, emotions and thoughts.
Circulation of life is a harmonious functioning of all these overlapping systems one in another and in constant interaction.

Daring not to be “normal” in a society that only tolerate “normal” individuals

2010-08-16T15:46:00.001-04:00

One of the challenges when following the path of celibacy is the feeling of awkwardness, not being able to fit again into current standards.
There is some sort of discrimination going on. If you are single and you do not have a partner, automatically you become an outcast, a “something is wrong” case that “needs to be fixed”.

Those pressures can be tolerated up to a point... and then some strategies are needed to deal with this issue. I have done my share of those, but somehow I preferred the straight forward method of “breaking the news” so I can be myself. If you like it good.. if you don't...oh well...

Unfortunately, to be celibate in a sex propelled society is equivalent to having a death sentence over your head. Some people may experience this pressure to be higher than others, depending on how likely they are to be pursued or wanted. Going out, having fun, etc. becomes a difficulty.

Religious minded circles have this intrinsic protection. Members gather and have the same likes and dislikes which makes an ideal environment for support. There are many marriages and partnerships without a sexual life. However, those couples cannot be considered celibate since they may have other sexual practices or their “celibacy” is the product of a dis-functional life style rather than a choice for a higher purpose.

A person practicing celibacy need to be able to survive in this sexual minded environment.
It is my experience that the greatest protection is your commitment to be celibate. If we look at our own lifestyle and see the reason and feel in our hearts that we are following this path because it is an intrinsic expression of ourselves, if what we feel for spirituality or God is represented in this commitment; then no matter what happens around, that value will save our commitment.

Commitment is an extraordinary word. Commitment is related with being faithful to our own path, values, ideas and feelings. True celibacy is a matter of the mind. It deals with our thoughts. If we have not worked with our own feelings and to be able to recognize sexual energy within and be able to transform it; we are kidding ourselves if we think that we can maintain this life style.

If you are by yourself and you do not belong to a particular group for support, you will have a tough time; but the reward is even greater. You will not need to “hide” from others or be afraid of “getting involved with someone”. If you play out the consequences in your mind as if it was a movie being fast forwarded, you will realize that the mirage of something “greater” or “romantically appealing” when losing sight of your chosen path is one of the worst mistakes that we could make against ourselves.

Celibacy for the sake of celibacy is self denial or a psychological, mental or physical issue. Celibacy for the sake of being a spiritual being and discovering yourself is the noblest and rewarding path. Human beings do not realize that are unable to know what is love. Why? Because jealousy, hate, attachment and familiarity are part of our behavior. It is a mirage to pretend to live “ever happily” with someone who has those traits. Therefore, celibacy allows me to go deeper into myself without hurting myself or someone else for the sake of pleasure; and to look at that lust that is tormenting me and others, to closely look at that ego and that anger popping up like an internet ad.. and to do something about it. To work at it. Then perhaps, there will be a time to share our lives with someone, but no until these “normal traits” which prick one another; are gone. That commitment will pay off.

If you keep these things in mind when mingling with someone or when having those social “pressures” thrown at you; it will be easier to “draw the line”. A friend that does not allow you to be yourself... is not your friend. Better alone than in conflictive company.

Experience of Celibacy from a female perspective

2010-08-10T13:30:00.001-04:00

Q: Why Celibacy?

A: (12/09) I first adopted it out of being fed up with failed connections that were based on sex. For so long, I was under the illusion that sexual relations was the way to achieve the “ultimate” connection with another but time after time it proved itself to be the ultimate disconnection. The pattern was relentless no matter who the person… We would have some sort of special connection. We would have sex. Then eventually we would end up feeling hurt by one another. I always remembered feeling weak and insecure in the connection with the other person, once we engaged in sexual relations. Things never seemed to make sense and I felt like I lacked some control over myself once the deed was done. So, when I discovered celibacy, I felt very enthusiastic about taking on the practice of not practicing.

My reason for remaining celibate after six years has deepened with experience. It’s the experience of connecting with myself as a soul and having a connection with the Supreme soul that has led way to this depth. Through this connection, I experience myself to be beyond the physical…a metaphysical being. I have experienced different forms of myself and the highest forms are this state of purity that is completely beyond any vibrations of the vices. At this point in time, this is only an experience of myself and not yet a state of being. The good part is that the contrast of purity vs. impurity is very evident. The impressions of the vices are still there and, although many of them have lost power, I have experienced in my spiritual journey what it is like to sustain them. This vice of lust is the one that weakens me the most. I don’t actually have to indulge in the act for it’s neighboring impressions to appear. It’s all a matter of looking to others for sense of self, comfort, protection, etc. It’s starts with attraction and ends with addiction. The soul becomes dependent on the other for these experiences. The intellect stops functioning properly but, worse then before, the intellect has the experience of wisdom and truth and so a serious battle takes place. It’s almost as if one could watch the quality of the soul degrade before the eyes. Like seeing a roaring fire turned to a shimmering amber.

A: (8/10)

Through this Spiritual journey, I have begun to experience a significant amount of spiritual power and virtues. Seeing these things in action is enough to keep me on this path. Before this path, I don’t remember thinking about or even know if I knew what celibacy or lust was?

Even after becoming celibate I have had much lust inside. Although I’ve continued to abstain, I have discovered that sex is the most overt form of lust…the ultimate satisfaction…sort of the end result of what is going on inside. Realistically speaking, I know that sex doesn’t just happen. There is a whole wealth of things going on inside before it happens. I’ve observed in myself that it starts with this desire to be close to a particular person. I create them in my mind and use these thoughts to sustain all sorts of feelings and vibes. That’s never enough though. It moves onto wanting to spend time with the person and needing to get to know them. Still that isn’t enough. Next I need to touch them. And yet that’s not enough. I then must move onto kissing. Why stop there? It doesn’t stop until sex happens. Eventually the sex with that person gets old and then the mind turns to another to sustain these feelings. One of the problems with me is that I have a difficult time letting go. Even though I might recognize that this source has been depleted, it’s like I get locked into seeing that connection as my only means for those feelings. I’m not able to see clearly. I tend to fight to protect and maintain this connection but the more I do this then the more I suffocate and push away the partner. Then the person rejects me even more and eventually I feel hurt and/or angry. One of us eventually disconnects and moves onto others. This cycle continues.

Although I haven’t taken it quite this far since I’ve been celibate, I have played out the emotions enough to see the pattern. The difference lately is that I have experienced internal power through my spiritual endeavors and have seen what virtues look like in action. Now, even when I experience myself going into the rudimentary forms of lust, like longing to be close to someone, I feel that power decrease. The more I go into these feelings, the less power I feel. It also seems to have an effect on my quality of being. I don’t see virtues come out in my actions as much. I guess it is because with lust I am in this state of taking from others. Virtues seem to be a giving force. They are independent of need. They are the result of self sovereignty. Lust makes me completely reliant on an external source for my sense of self, happiness, comfort, etc. When I am free from this, I am able to give. My mind isn’t bound to another and, therefore I am not preoccupied with finding external means to sustain this source. I am then able to see things clearly and free to be whatever I need to be or give whatever I need to give in any given circumstance. The liveliest virtues I experience from this state of being are sensibility, cooperation and creativity.

Another thing I have experienced from remaining celibate is the difference in the quality of my connections with others. Not being tied to a particular person because of lust has made me available for other connections. Because I am not constantly being pulled by this need to be with a particular person and am therefore available for different kinds of connections. From this, I have watched my connections with friends, family, co-workers and even perfect strangers grow and deepen. I have also discovered the value and beauty of friendships. I value them because they are instrumental in my spiritual growth. I find them beautiful because they provide the closeness and warmth from sharing while maintaining independence from one another. My previous reflection on celibacy states that I thought that sex was the ultimate connection with another. Now I am finding that friendship is because it seems that it is the kind of connection with others that is balanced and more able to maintain a higher level of connecting. Of course the correct connection with the self pervades all connections.

Dealing with unconscious conflicts in the path of Celibacy

2010-04-16T08:31:00.006-04:00

Hi Luis,
I left a comment on your healthy celibacy blog back in January. The title was "Dealing with perceived sexual urges". I had a question about how to move energy.
Thank you for your reply it was helpful.

I actually already do practice pranayama and a form of yoga, that practice has greatly helped with celibacy. About the middle of February I made a vow of celibacy to myself and to my guru, and since then my sexual desires haven't bothered me! It was all in my mind, because now if a little feeling of a sexual urge comes up, I sort of laugh at it. "Oh little one, you have no power over me anymore". And I practice kriya and try to move the energy up my spine and express it as love for the greatest Lover in the Universe.

My email is about a different question I have. I thought I was in control of my sexual energy, but recently I have had (maybe 4-5) sexually charged dreams in which I am engaging in intercourse and orgasm. This has been over a period of about 2 weeks. During the dream I am aware that I am experiencing "pleasure" and do not want to stop. I am always surprised when I wake up, that if I had that awareness why did I not wake myself up an stop it? Usually my vital energy wants to express itself in lower sexual energy centers around time of menstruation, so these sexual dreams would correspond with this time. But I would like to transform this, because I believe in celibacy in thought just as strongly as celibacy in deed. These dreams mean my sexual desires have had to retire ot the subconscious mind because I will not let them have control over my conscious mind, but it also means they still exist, and I am not transmuting them completely.

Do you have any suggestions or insights for me?

Answer:

I gather that you fit the "profile" of someone who follows celibacy for elevated reasons.
As you know, we are spiritual beings; souls but we have a physical experience.For that reason, physical pleasure is not "real" pleasure (for someone aware of being a soul) but spiritual bliss is what we are looking for. Sexual pleasure brings attachment and the mind gets caught up in it. There is a feeling of being guilty of something because we are depleting our life energy, it is slow suicide. Obviously, not everyone will think the same, because subtle sensibility is needed.That is a gift that not everyone possesses.
Personally what helped me a lot in the beginning was to follow the "elevated conduct" of the Brahma Kumaris. If there is a center close to you I would recommend for you to give them a visit and explore their philosophy.
That "elevated conduct" consisted on: 1) Waking up every day at 3:30 AM and meditation for 45 minutes at 4:00 AM
2) vegetarian food without garlic nor onions (they are natural aphrodisiacs) Cook your own food. Do not let anyone who is not practicing and living a celibate life to cook for you 3)Spiritual classes everyday at 6:30 AM 4) Night meditation at 7 pm. 5) celibacy. This routine I have been doing for the last 7 years, everyday. Every step of this routine has a reason to be there, which I can talk about some other time.
This routine helped me to become sensitive to spiritual energies. I was able to feel Godly energy and my own energy during my meditations. Perhaps, being able to feel myself as a soul residing in the middle of my forehead was a great discovery. My concentration increased as well as my capacity to understand subtle spiritual teachings beyond the "words".

While doing this routine I had my tests. As you mentioned, dreams at night (even wet dreams,) feeling awkward while around the opposite gender, feeling extreme attraction for the opposite gender while at the same time wanting to suppress those feelings. While in this experience most people will give up and give in to sex again, then they will say that "sex is a natural necessity". They do not understand that an old trait is not easy to get rid of. It is like drinking coffee and seeing that everyone around you enjoys coffee, but deep inside even though you have tasted coffee, you know that it is not for you anymore. A soul has lived many lives before and those "old sexual traits" are in it. That is why it takes some work and Godly help to overcome them.

I discovered that as long as I kept my routine of following the "elevated conduct," I was safe. I also discovered that repression of any kind is not the path to conquer our own weaknesses.

I discovered that energy needed to be transformed from physical to spiritual. Changing lust and anger into love from the heart. This can be learned by having deep love for God and remembering Him during meditations and throughout the day. Then, it is important to direct those feelings to others as well. Lust is replaced by the feeling of beauty. The soul wants to be close to something beautiful. To be close to Nature is the first step.
Appreciation of Nature has the capacity to fill the soul with beauty. Once we are filled with beauty, naturally; lust is something foreigner to us.
After that, relating with others through good wishes for them is important. That inner beauty needs to be circulated and sent to others.

After this step, you are ready to face the attractions of the body again.I had the need to express love, to express feelings through physical touch. My emotions needed further healing and I was open to experience a new teaching. Someone else may not have that need. I became a massage therapist. Then i understood that even though most religions teach us to suppress and to turn our faces whenever there is temptation, once we become spiritually ready, we need to face that fear to be able to conquer it. Through massage therapy and through healing I was able to express what I felt and not to be in conflict with myself. Energy needs to be expressed in the most elevated way.The body and the attraction of the body lost its meaning because I was spiritually ready to see that it is an illusion. Having good wishes and pure feelings transforms the energy of lust, then the dreams at night, lose their power, because the subconscious and the conscious are not at conflict anymore.

For you this may not be an issue, but once you honestly discover within yourself about your own weaknesses, you will know what you need to conquer. If spirituality is your path, then life will present the opportunity for you to overcome those weaknesses. If God is in your heart in a very honest way; you will gain His protection. You are not alone after all when you have God in your heart.

Best wishes in your chosen path,

Luis

Loneliness

2009-06-07T20:35:00.005-04:00

In the path of celibacy there is a tremendous pressure from the outside world to fit in the mould of the masses. There is no support system unless belonging to a religious, philosophical, or a particular group. That group becomes the support system. Celibacy then is colored by the rules and regulations of that organization. If the person is cut off from the organization, there is no support system and therefore, that person becomes an outcast. Then celibacy is lost due to external pressures which are not related with human desires.

Loneliness is probably the most feared feeling. No one wants to be alone. A human being has a meaning only in relationship with others. The feeling of being alone means mental or physical separation.

Dependency in a system, dependency in a particular organization even though "holy"means plain dependency. A dependent human being is not able to experiment and experience.

Once a person is beyond the "internal fight" to remain celibate, then loneliness is the next step to be conquered in the ladder of spirituality.

Without having the experience of spirituality and God in our lives, loneliness will easily win the inner battle.
A family system is set up to avoid the feeling of seclusion and to assure that as the person ages, someone will take care of that person. Loneliness will make a person subservient of the thought "I do not want to be alone when I age."
Sexuality is used as the binding mechanism between a male and a female. Progeny means survival of the parents until death, or at least that is the thought.
There are no guarantees in life and to be realistic means to understand life from our own perspective which has a tendency to change over time.

Without the experience of that spiritual support in our lives, it will be extremely difficult to remain celibate due to feeling isolated. Loneliness is the test to be surpassed. Once you become acquainted with your own loneliness, you will be ready for the next challenge .

The illusion of desire

2009-05-09T10:00:00.005-04:00

I hoped that he would love me,

And he has kissed my mouth,

But I am like a stricken bird

That cannot reach the south.

For though I know he loves me,

To-night my heart is sad;

His kiss was not so wonderful

As all the dreams I had.

by: Sara Teasdale

This poem by Sara Teasdale (one of the best lyrical writings I ‘ve seen from USA poets) describes one of the biggest illusions a human mind has as far as romantic relationships. The same thought could be applied to anything we dream about in life. Reality as “whatever happened” will never match “what I would have liked to happen.”

Sexuality works in the same way. Our mind searches for satisfaction, comfort, a “perfect like” state that will never happen. The desire for “union” and to “fuse” our own personality in other being is part of that psychological longing for perfection, bliss and happiness. The result of this lack of fulfillment is to keep trying and experiencing different thrills, however; our mind is incapable of realizing that perfection, bliss and happiness cannot be attained by physical means.

Sex is pleasurable. Sex will not give anyone bliss or happiness since attaining those states means a constant experience of those. Once sex is over, the next “episode” is sought out. Once repetition becomes dull and boring, changes are necessary to enhance the thrill of it. However, this search for fulfillment becomes like trying to posses the ocean with our own hands. It is impossible.

A mind that is caught up in sensual pleasures for fulfillment of desires will never be satisfied. Our dreams will be always better than our experiences. Bliss and happiness are spiritual experiences which are not related with the physical body.

Even though the mind is thirsty for happiness, it keeps searching and trying to quench that thirst with salty snacks hoping to find the “right person,” “the right experience,” ”the right thrill.”

Life becomes a never ending search of fulfilling dreams. Once we attain that dream, we realize that there is something else that we want to achieve. The spiral of desires keeps growing and humans keep spinning like on a hamster’s wheel, moving fast but going nowhere… until death meets us.

The mind becomes saturated with pleasurable experiences to numb its own painful existence. What painful existence? To experience diseases, to experience departure of loved ones, to experience old age, to experience death. Sex as pleasure, is there to numb the mind and keep it entertained and doped, unable to see the futility of all. Vital energy runs out of our living organisms as if we are deliberately provoking our own suicide, planning our own death sentence “small doses” at the time. The mind is full of unfulfilled desires.

No one worth possessing
Can be quite possessed;
Lay that on your heart,
My young angry dear;
This truth, this hard and precious stone,
Lay it on your hot cheek,
Let it hide your tear.
Hold it like a crystal
When you are alone
And gaze in the depths of the icy stone.
Long, look long and you will be blessed:
No one worth possessing
Can be quite possessed.

Sara Teasdale.

The mentality of Sexual arousal

2009-04-18T21:45:00.001-04:00

Sex is mental. The mind has to be engaged in a pleasurable response, a desire that needs to be fulfilled. The idea of “pleasure” however, is misleading. Sexual tension is released. That relaxation is what causes pleasurable sensations. As sexual tension builds up, the urgency to release that tension also increases. For the normal “Joe” out there, who is usually completely tuned out of sensibility and “normally” stressed out with “busy-ness,” that “release” is the whole source of relaxation. Bodily sensations then are viewed as ultimately a release of sexual tension.

A person who is more in tune with his/her body immediately will feel that such a “release” means a loss of valuable energy which is completely wasted. Practice of these “releases” will assure the birth of a blunt individual who will be unable to transform sexual energy into higher feelings and thus, to “feed” his own emotional and spiritual well being. The paradox is that an individual who practices celibacy without the struggle of renouncing sexuality and who takes care of his emotions as well as his body, will be attractive to others.

Swamis, Gurus and Catholic priests among others struggle to be celibate. For them it is a matter of running away from “temptations.” The word “temptations” implies that inner unresolved struggle, the fight to keep those “devils” inside submerged in the self. There is no a chance to conquer lust and to be celibate in a natural and healthy way unless our feelings have been transformed AND we have learned to transform and circulate our own sexual energy. Spirituality is a key element in this since it will allow an individual to be in tune with his inner self.

Joe “Average,” used to all sorts of noises around him and to be brain washed by the same old propaganda of sexual “release” has a very slim chance to make it in this path. Sensibility is needed. Empathy is needed so you are able to feel someone’s suffering and to empathize with their case. Someone who takes the time to admire the beauty of nature and who takes time and it is not afraid of being alone, who finds silence and inner silence to be enjoyable, that person will certainly make it.

Opposition never conquers. Opposition just opposes. To conquer lust you need to transform yourself first. Spirituality is the path not walked by many, it is the path that leads to self transformation.

Conquering lust and sexual desires

2009-04-10T20:24:00.000-04:00

It is commonly thought that sexual intercourse is natural. However, there has been in history different instances when birth has been attained without sexual means. Abraham had a son, Isaac who was born from his old mother and was considered as “Godly gift.” Likewise the birth of Jesus, according to Christianity was an “immaculate birth.” Same with Krishna, even though there are a couple of stories about his birth. For instance, it is believed by Christians that Christ does not have the “original sin” because of his special birth.
If sex and sexuality is that “good,” why diseases, mental anguish and emotional pain go along with it? In a highly sexual society it is incredible the number of diseases that could be acquired due to “unprotected sex.” Ever wonder if taking a pill or wearing a condom is part of the “natural” make up of a sexual experience? Perhaps pornography is needed to enhance a “sweet and loving” relationship? Or how about sexual addiction or the different sexual /power games associated with a so called “natural” experience? The argument that “sex is needed because otherwise humanity will not continue” is a big fallacy. These words will not be read by “humanity” but for those who believe or have an interest in a higher way of life. Those are the ones that could practice this. Humanity will continue in its “old ways” driven by economic forces and brain washing of the media.
To conquer something you need to understand it. This is not theoretical understanding but practically through experience of observing ourselves.
Sex is associated with death. The purpose of it is to create life. The price of creating life is death. This is dualism 101. A pregnant woman sacrifices her own body, which will never be the same again. A man sacrifices its seed which gives him strength. A person used to masturbate will have the following characteristics: Their eyes will lose their brightness; weakness in the body will set in as the person ages, his will power will be greatly reduced and most importantly, that person is enforcing lust as a way to relate with people. Lust is a form of violence because the intention is not the well being of another person but rather to satiate a sexual impulse. Usually a lustful person is an angry person. Even though, anger is enhanced by the belief that it is “normal,” it is a vice which denotes lack of tolerance. An angry person cannot follow the path of celibacy. An angry person uses fear and negative emotions to relate with others. This cannot be “normal” for a human being who talks about “brotherhood” and “peace in the world.” Anger produces chemical imbalances in the body which self destroy and individual. This is self-violence.
To conquer sex lust, anger needs to completely vanish. If a person is lustful, that person will not be able to touch another person without feeling sexual about it. The so called “attraction” sets in as long as there is lust. Without lust, tenderness sets in. Through tenderness a relationship with another human being will not be violent. When sexual energy is transformed into beautiful feelings from the heart chakra, the sense of touch and eyesight change completely. The violent rush to reach orgasm is changed into a meaningful and fulfilling relationship based on feelings.
The sense of touch is an extraordinary sense. Caresses are examples of those feelings of tenderness. Complete relaxation of the body is necessary rather than sexual tension building up. To move that energy from the second chakra to the heart and above is something that “humanity” cannot do, but those who are willing to understand the benefits of celibacy.
Because nowadays spirituality has been left aside, beauty and sensibility are no longer part of the traditional values. Lust has taken human beings even lower than animals. An animal will never have sexual needs by looking at a picture or fantasize about a sexually charged tv program. Human beings into the “virtual” world can do that. Because beauty is not understood, the major worry is to attain a “perfect body” as if everyone was the same. Beauty is thought to be physical when in fact; beauty is not something related with a body. Bodies are proportional and the conjunction of muscles with fat and a good posture will give the sense of balance but beauty resides in the heart. The quality of feelings makes a person beautiful. Someone may be good looking but not beautiful. Sex lust is related with looks and not beauty.Lust can be conquered. When it is not understood running away and closing doors is preached to avoid temptations. When it is understood, there is no need to run away from it. Just like people are afraid of a big tiger whenever it comes, someone who is willing to spend sometime with that tiger in a loving manner can become that tiger’s friend. Conquering sex lust seems like being able to caress the belly of that big tiger. Trust needs to be build up with the tiger, a sense of balance of energies needs to be developed continuously; otherwise that tiger can turn around and eat that person.

The chakra system, spirituality and sexuality

2009-03-20T18:06:00.001-04:00

“Chakras” (Wheel) are well known vortexes of energy utilized to balance a person’s emotional health and well being. The understanding of these, will give a person the ability to understand sexuality and sexual energy. There are seven main chakras, which align with the plexuses of the human body (from a western viewpoint) or are situated in the subtle body, expressing themselves through glands or organs in the body (from a spiritual viewpoint.)
The background behind the chakras is the story of “Kundalini Shakti” longing to merge with her beloved Shiva. There is a climbing of stages represented by this energy rising up above the top of the head (top notch.)
In spirituality the chakra systems represent the degrees of “ascension” of a human being into a more elevated being. It is the memorial of the story of how a person can reach God.
In the western world there is a well known theory of motivation, the “Maslow’s hierarchy of needs;” which explains that there is a pyramid which all human beings attempt to climb. It starts on the basic need of survival until he or she reaches “self-realization” which in western terms means to have a “fulfilling” life style which is financially sound as well as emotionally satisfactory. (i.e. Having a house, a career, wife/husband, children and grandchildren, etc.)
The same pyramid is stated in the chakra system.
The first chakra located at the base of the spine means that survival mode. A person who expresses himself through this chakra is merely looking to fulfill his own survival needs. Life becomes a fight for survival. The second chakra located at the sacral area represents some of the emotions which most human beings experience and “filter” life with: pleasure, power and the need to balance the male/female dualism struggle. 99% of human beings will express themselves through this chakra at this time. As a matter of fact, all steps of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs are situated in these 2 chakras.
It is interesting to note that when a person feel sexually aroused, there is the feeling of some energy which “needs to be released,” without the sensibility to rise up that energy and to express it through higher chakras, eventually that precious energy will be lost. The peak of physical excitability cannot be maintained for too long. Romantic media and “brain washed” individuals believe that the sensation of “release” is pleasurable, when in fact; it is not the release in itself but the degrees of increasing tension in the second chakra area through sexual energy. “Releasing” is just the inability of the individual to “hold on” to that energy. That energy can rise up to higher chakras.
The third chakra is located at the solar plexus. That chakra represents will power, self-esteem. It means to be able to realize that there are other things more important in life than to have instant gratification. The ideas of “sacrifice” and “renunciation” are expressed through this chakra. It is a highly “moral” person who surmounts any obstacles through sheer will power. For instance, if the idea of having a spouse or a partner is in the way of their perceived ideal of spirituality; even though these individuals find desirable the idea of having a spouse, they will stoically renounce that in order to follow their “higher ideals.” The downside is that self inflicted emotional pain will have to be endured. This chakra may be known as the one in between the “lower” and “higher ones.” It is in fact through this chakra, how a person is able to maintain chastity even though the outside environment may be opposing to this person wishes. Sheer will power is a game of resisting. Most sages and “holy men” may be using this chakra to remain celibate.
The heart chakra is the next one. Human beings who have developed this chakra will embrace love and the ideal of trust between human beings. Their view and way of expressing themselves is represented by the heart. It is the step to attain “self-healing” after overcoming the emotional wounds of using will power alone. At the beginning of expressing through the heart chakra, will power is used along with love to understand the self and others. Virtues such as patience and sweetness develop. However, those traits are unable to express themselves in an adequate manner since bluntness and straightforwardness without considering someone else’s feelings was the previous way of behavior, which still remains emerged. A person, who just opened up their heart chakra, usually will love to a certain extent before abruptly cutting off connections with others due to perceived threats to their ideals. This chakra will allow a person to have feelings from the heart and rise up their energy to this chakra and express good wishes and pure feeling for a person.
The throat chakra is next. Once love is recognized as the way to interact with oneself, others and the universe (God included ;) a unique and sensible ways of expressing those feelings appear. Some may write, some may sing, some may compose something; some may change their language and way of speaking. “Speak softly, speak sweetly” comes at this point, once this chakra is used for expression. An artist who has developed this chakra will interact with every human being and creature in a loving manner. Thus, it becomes “spiritual artistry” rather than just plain expression of lower needs/wants. An Artist is someone who expresses beauty through different means. Sexually a person will be able to touch another of the opposite sex and express the feelings of his/her heart through touch. Touching is an art in itself and when developed in a spiritual way it can “touch” and heal other human beings.
The third eye chakra represents seeing things as they are rather than a perception given by the physical eyes. At this stage of development “imbibing” virtues takes place. There is a clear recognition of things. In spirituality, it means receiving/imbibing knowledge to go beyond the physical limits. Sexually, the recognition of the self as a spiritual being will be fully realized, at this point the “needs” for sexual gratification will be completely and naturally left behind.
The last chakra is known as the “crown” chakra. This is the equivalent of self realization in Maslow’s terms, when applied into the spiritual path. Here is when the beloved Shiva is finally attained. When going beyond the limits of the self there is the sense of being combined with the Supreme. Spiritual ecstasy or bliss is experienced.
Usually a person will receive some kind spiritual knowledge in their life while expressing oneself in the second chakra or third. From that point, the journey of “ascension” happens or the feeling of being a “sinner” or “less than” will appear since there is the recognition of the existence of higher ideals which a person may feel unable to reach. Here is when devotion starts and when the inner fight to move into a greater direction appears for the first time.
The chakra system represents the story of spiritual ascension. The practical understanding of it will allow a person to master his/her own sexual energy.

Sexual drive: A game with no winners

2008-12-23T13:01:00.000-05:00

Sex drive deals with aggressiveness. A very aggressive mind will use sex as a preferred channel for aggression. There is a research here: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2008-12/uom-uom120808.php by Univ. of Minnesota researcher V. Gliskevicius. Although it appears as human nature is aggressive “from the beginning of time” and that sex is all about passing genes and “getting the girl” as the researcher points out, the assumption is that human beings are aggressive. On the contrary, when meditation is practiced as a tool to learn about the mind, we will find out that our mind which controls human beings, strive for peace. This is one of the downsides of research. The so called “normal guy” or “Joe average” is considered as a sample for a research. Obviously, the tendency then is to generalize to “all human beings are aggressive by nature.”
A person who studies his/her own mind will discover that sex means a mental reaction to something which is viewed as desirable. “I want to get him/her. I want to posses him/her” is the phrase that summarizes this.
Without looking at how my own mind works, I have no chance to survive in an oversexed society such as ours. I will be influenced by osmosis. Aggression is part of that society as well.
A peaceful mind, on the other hand will be able to recognize how a mind could be reactive and stop or transform that reaction into something positive or good.
So I was told that “8 hours of sleep” are necessary to function. Do you consider yourself “Joe average”? Aren’t you able to explore yourself and see your own limits? The unconscious mind tendency to fantasize will show its troubles when we oversleep. Everything we have learned about us, is what others have told us. Even if I have a feeling about something which I would like to call “my own feeling” that is interpreted in light of someone else’s experience which could explain my own experience. Once I place a label to my own experience, I feel that I “know it.”
The same phenomenon occurs with the understanding of sex drive. It is easier to accept and indulge in something referred as “normal” than to be by yourself researching and experimenting with it.
Watch your own mind. See its thoughts. Observe where your energy of thoughts goes. Learn to identify aggressiveness, lust and anger within yourself. See what is the trigger and understand why that is a trigger. Yes, this requires time and willingness. This is not a matter of a pill to do it for you.
Perhaps you will find that when your mind feels unfulfilled, sex comes up. When you feel bored, sexual thoughts show up. When there is a need for a change, again something related with sex will be there for that added “newness.” This becomes a disease because I have no control over it. Until I learn and experience peace of mind. Then I see that a fulfilled mind is not searching for bodily experiences. When there is the experience of nurturing emotions such as love and care, the so called “normal” sex drive will greatly diminish.
Unfortunately, most are looking to be just average. It is easier to spend your life on purchasing things that you think you want than in learning about your own mind. Your mind is your own enemy until you get to know it.

Your weaknesses are the way to your strengths

2008-11-28T10:52:00.000-05:00

We can identify strengths in our own personalities. Another name for strengths are values and virtues. Those strengths are not really our strengths unless we develop them. If I am able to bench press 200 pounds for one or two reps without exercising, I cannot call that to be strong. I have not explored the extent of my physical strength yet. Once I develop it, then I can see the extent of my own strength. Therefore, strength comes after I am aware of my own weakness. The awareness of my own weakness allows me to train myself to explore my own strength.
Similarly the weakness of lust, when it is observed, recognized and explored, will give us a chance to gain a strength, that is celibacy, purity or the mastery of our own senses.
Many religions and well known gurus and spiritual teachers recognize lust as a vice. Recognition is a good first step, however; the stages of observation and exploration are not considered. Resistance is the method offered to deal with a weakness. Many times the term “do not fall into temptation” is used and it describes our lack of understanding as to why lust is a weakness that needs to be overcome.
I can only explore lust in myself. I can observe it in others, but I can only recognize it in others when I had experienced it in myself. A child will not be able to recognize lust in the eyes of a person, because he/she has not awareness of it. A child has not experienced lust yet.
The experience of lust could be described as “wanting to posses something.” Spiritual teachers may call that “desire.” That desire is not in tune with a peaceful being, since that desire disturbs our own peace of mind. “I want him.” “I want her.” Summons the emotions. The so called “animal instinct” is nothing else but a person who has not experienced mental peace. As we are conscious of our own peaceful mind, then anything that deviates from that and brings a desire is giving us the chance to further understand our own depth of experience of that peace.
Sex lust is not conquered by separating males and females. It is not conquered by shaving our heads so we do not look “attractive” or that both sexes look the same. Sex lust is not conquered by resistance and suppression of emotions. Sex lust is primarily conquered when our feelings are in tune with a peaceful mind. The understanding of the type of relationship that I should have with others will make up my attitude towards a person. For instance, If I instill the relationship of brotherhood among all living beings and if I am consistent with this vision, no matter who I have in front of me, my peaceful mind will maintain the attitude of brotherhood and my thoughts will be aligned to that attitude.
The depth of our recognition and experience of sex lust within ourselves, allows us to recognize the “trigger points” and to switch our thoughts and feelings towards that restful, peaceful mind.
A true peaceful mind is a spiritual mind, because there is the recognition of my true spiritual nature. That recognition needs to be observed and explored; it needs to be tested to see the extent of my own strength despite situations. Life offers those situations as long as I am willing to learn about myself.
Someone may say: “I am celibate. That is why I stay away from men (or women). It is dangerous to mingle with the opposite sex.”
Someone may decide to sleep with the opposite sex to “test” his celibacy…(As I understand, Gandhi did) since one thing is to talk about wine without tasting it and another is to taste it and not to be drunk by its taste…. Or someone may decide to do nothing, because the “desire” does not arise, just like a child. There is no desire to test or no perception of danger when mingling with others.
A child is a true celibate: No clothes at the beach, no shame of it; no desire to possess, no idea of what lust is. Everyone was a child at one point in their life, all we need to know is to remember that. Different paths for different people. Self honesty will show us the best path. I cannot pretend to run a marathon when I just started running a couple of weeks ago, however; the most important step in any training to run a marathon is…the first step, on the first day of the beginning of that training, which will lead us into the way as long as determination is with me.

Additional links on abstinence and sexuality

2008-11-19T14:29:00.003-05:00

These articles are worthwhile to read in my opinion.

Dealing with perceived sexual urges

2008-11-09T19:03:00.002-05:00

When we observe the reactions within we can choose the type of reactions which will be expressed to the outside. Sexual energy is a very powerful energy which needs to be moved and transformed. Without this knowledge of movement and transformation, the desire will increase and the energy will build up in the “root” chakra. Without movement, energy kept inside will alter our state of mind. Ejaculations, masturbation, wet dreams, are forms of expression of this energy. At this point, energy has been wasted.

Whatever sensations we perceive through the physical body are closely related with our subtle energies (chakras.)We feel physical attraction for someone; my stomach area will “feel funny.” That is a chakra which was stimulated. As our thoughts increase the desire for pleasure, subtle energy will build up and go “downwards” through the lower end chakras and finally this energy will go out of the body. We may feel a “relief” the sensation that I am ‘back to normal,’ but just as a frog inside a pot of water does not realize that temperature has gone up (if we were to boil that water) until it is too late; likewise, the same action of wastage of our own energy will manifest in pains, ailments, mental and physical weaknesses which we like to conveniently call normal “old age” for lack of knowledge.

That energy needs to be transformed. Attraction among human beings will be there. It is part of understanding duality and the law of karma. The energy which this attraction entails could be a lustful, needy, longing, possessive energy which will end in ejaculation or it could be refined and transformed using our heart chakra. The power of feelings will transform this energy, making it more subtle and meaningful. This energy could be sent to another person, or even God.
As the awareness of this energy of attraction is building up, I need to relax myself by breathing, using my mind to direct that energy at the level of my heart chakra and using my pure good wishes towards the trigger of that energy (person who I felt attracted.) Using shallow breaths and concentrating on my heart and eyes, I send this energy. What I send, I receive. This is a law (karma.) The thoughts sending this energy could be something like: “I wish you the best” Or “I thank you for your beauty, it is lighting up my day,” etc. It is all about changing our thoughts, attitude and feelings towards other human beings.

This practice is the basis for true “platonic love” between people. (Non-sexual love based on feelings, physical hugs, snuggling, etc. where there is no intercourse or mouth kiss in its more purist form.) It is based on feelings and transforming our control of this sexual energy inside us. In the average person this build up of energy will automatically create more tension in the body which will desire to release this energy ending up in sexual intercourse. Obviously, this lack of control of the self is usually tinted with romantic tones, but in actuality once this energy is gone there is a physical release and at the same time an unconscious feeling of depletion, which creates this “love-hate” circle, exploited by Hollywood movies and which makes sex completely misunderstood thus, mysterious and therefore, appealing to the masses.

Build up in tension within ourselves ends up in aggression, possessiveness and lack of self confidence and trust.
Pure platonic love based on feelings does not last 5 minutes. As long as the energy is transformed into pure feelings from the heart, automatically your senses change as well. Your touch becomes sensitive, caresses become light and meaningful, the eyes will transmit loving feelings and most importantly you will feel energized by the power of tenderness and nurtured by true feelings of closeness.
Without the previous training/mastering to be able to move energy across your body and without the understanding of producing feelings from the heart chakra to overcome the “root” lower chakra, any practice of platonic love, will end up in losing the seed, in ejaculation. In other words, wastage, thus; it is helpful to practice this pure platonic love in public places such as parks surrounded by nature and with boundaries; to get acquainted with our own energies.

The path of celibacy will enable a person to master his own senses. To build sensitivity to subtle energies which will allow a person to connect with others in a more caring and loving way and at the same time it is the gateway to higher Godly experiences. The more advanced someone is in the spiritual path, the lesser physical experiences will be needed. Once the little “training wheels” in the bike are removed, you will know how to ride a bike, but until then going down and “kissing the floor” is part of the experience. Have you ever wondered why kids can learn a lot faster than adults? A “kid like” mind is needed in the path of celibacy.

Selling sex to the masses

2008-10-11T18:39:00.002-04:00

When a person is unaware of his/her spiritual self, true self; the physical world and experiences through the physical senses become their only “reality.”
Western societies are based on this premise. “If I cannot see it, I cannot believe it.” “If I cannot touch it, it does not exist.” Therefore, “it has been proven by science...that” becomes the mantra of the day.
Science deals with the physical world. Science has no authority over the meaning of life, the sense of beauty, or even to explain how immaterial thoughts can rule our material life. The understanding of human emotions is not scientific either. A pattern could be made up with a "sample" group, but a pattern does not fit reality, the unexpected, which is life in a nutshell.
Sex is no longer the way in which the human species reproduces. It has become more than that: For some, sex is equal to love. When 2 people love each other, they must have sex. The interesting side is that sex has the same capability to destroy a “loving” relationship. That which is considered love cannot be “hate” at the same time. This is called logic. Marketing sex does not work on logic. It works on hype.
Our society helps in this respect. Why shall I “own” a wife, when I can “lease “her? In this way, I can always “get out” and “upgrade.” Kids are a “by product” and my checking account can take care of my responsibilities.
Sex is about pleasure. My own pleasure. A “good life” is a life of pleasure. Things have to be “sexy” to sell. Something “sexy” is highly desirable. Young, new, cool, trendy, etc . are “sexy.” Responsibilities, tenderness, loyalty, care, etc. does not sell.
Celibacy is “bad” because it is not “natural,” is thought. Celibacy does not sell, because devices are not needed for it. It is easier to label it as “unnatural.” but yet; “natural” is to drink a can of carbonated, sugar loaded liquid (coke,) to eat greasy food at the nearby McDonald’s, to eat sugar loaded “doughnuts” and to smoke as many cigarettes as I am able to afford. It is “natural” because “most people do it.” The rule of the "mob" as Plato used to put it, is meaningless for a thinking/aware person.
Society has its own way to brainwash individuals. In the west, is called “business.“ You are worth something to me as long as I can sell you something. Sex sells. Celibacy does not. Remember that.
It takes guts and intelligence to get out of the “mental brainwash.” It is more comfortable to let “science” tell me what to do, to tell me what is “normal,” and to teach me to conform, by making me believe of my own individuality even though, to classify me and put me into a little box with a label is easier. Fashion does not work on “individuality.” At the end everyone dresses the same way.
Examples of marketing schemes? Let us not call those XXX movies “dirty movies,” rather “adult content.” Let me change the meaning of loyalty with the latest study which supports the idea that man is not monogamous. Yes, milk “does your body good” as long as I can sell it.
To be intelligent, a person needs to think by themselves and be open to different view points. There must be willingness to experience by yourself. That which science can prove is not called life, but a lab.
Reality is more than perceptions of the senses. To discover sex as it is without my own personal biases takes some intelligence. Hard to do when junk food is part of my diet. "Your diet affects your mind," science utters... “Tasting good” is a matter of getting used to it.
We cannot deal with sex as sex until our perception, our understanding and marketing brain washing is thrown out. Few have the guts to do it. It is much easier to conform...

The dance of pleasure and pain

2008-09-11T21:44:00.001-04:00

Any human being will experience dualistic forces. If you experience pain is because you know what pleasure is.
Pleasure and Pain are complements of each other. One depends of the other. A limited vision of these 2 forces will give us the impression that both are opposites. With this mentality, we will pursue pleasure to the extreme. Sex becomes the highest pleasure in the physical realm. Unfortunately, pain is waiting at the corner to gives us the exact same level, same depth, same intensity but on the other side, the side of pain.
The Buddha, Gautama realized this fact. He devised the “middle way” as a mean to handle the dualities of pleasure and pain. Any desire will bring suffering, he concluded.
A yogi realizes that spirituality is the vehicle that will take a human being beyond the physical reality. This is why, it is important to experience our true self, spiritual self also known as the soul.
In this experience we are pulled out of the physical level. To be beyond experiences is one of the aims of a yogi life. However, these are physical experiences. In the spiritual realm, there is only expression of the self. That expression is manifested through feelings. I feel love, I feel peace, and I feel bliss.
These expressions beyond physical experiences are very powerful. A yogi realizes that sex is located in the realm of physical experiences. It is part of pleasure. To pursue sexual gratification eventually will lead us into suffering. This is very simple to understand.
Likewise, a life of denial of pleasure eventually explodes into indulging of pleasure. Whenever there is denial or avoidance, it is a sign of fear. That fear cannot be conquered unless we have the guts to face it.
Same with sex. There is no point on avoiding or denying, but rather acknowledging its presence. Through acknowledgement there is understanding.
This understanding will take us to the realization of pleasure and pain. The mind is seeking pleasure which cannot be fulfilled by the physical senses. In other words, sex cannot satiate any appetite for pleasurable experiences in the physical world, it is a palliative treatment only. It becomes an addiction, a “fix,” which calms the appetite but never satisfies the person. More is always needed. That pursue of sex as pleasure dulls the mind. The mind becomes trapped in the physical world and duality. The roller coaster of pain and pleasure is considered by most people as “normal.”
A yogi realizes the value of spirituality and the pursue of spiritual values as a way to set himself free from the tyranny of pain and pleasure. This is a different level of understanding which requires a clear mind.

Masturbation: Pleasure little treasure with a disguised overwhelming debt

2008-08-29T15:53:00.001-04:00

Sometimes the debate between “pro and con” masturbation could be heard. There are two sides on every issue. Nowadays, it appears that a high number of people masturbate on a regular basis. Psychologists label that pattern as “normal” behavior.
With that kind of mentality it is impossible to reach any type of unbiased research on this topic.

Forget about morality. Think about the consequences.
The more “advanced” a society is considered, the more addicted to pleasure it will become. Sex is the ultimate physical pleasure. To experience that pleasurable sensation is the objective of our society. That is how reproduction takes place. That is the means to control individuals. If you have the chance to browse the internet, you will find that pornography is one of effective way to “sell” things to an eager lustful audience. TV shows you the same scenario. Sex is the “thing” to experience, and the minute you overindulge yourself looking for the ultimate “orgasm” that is the minute you can rely on the latest pill from our good ol’ market to keep providing what you are hooked into.

There is a law in nature which is known as the “ying/yang” the law of dualism. In this law, we could observe and experience that pleasure will lead you into pain.. and pain again into pleasure. The two sides of the same coin need to be experienced. The greater your pleasure, the greater your pain. The law is very simple and it could be experienced by anyone.

Every time, the “seed” is lost for whatever reason, there is a loss. Death brings life. Pain brings pleasure. There is greater pleasure once pain ceases to be. Without pain, you are completely unaware of a pleasurable life.
There is an incredible amount of energy in every bodily fluid. As for semen, it has the potential of creating life. Every time that life force is wasted, there is a loss, there is death. That is the way of nature.
Preserving that life force is very important in order to keep your body and mind in a youthful stage. Old age cannot be stopped but it could be slowed down. Wasting your inner energy in search of pleasure is a sure way to accelerate death. It does not matter if you reach to an older age without a problem. Is your mind functioning right? How about both, your mind and your body? Very few will accomplish that in their life time.

Masturbation will lead you to the path of self-destruction. The so called “release” is never a release, but a repetitious activity which numbs our feelings.
A person driven by physical appearances and physical pleasure is too addicted to understand and experience spiritual pleasure. A person whose understanding is merely physical is bound to suffering, because sooner or later our beloved body will cease to exist. Limited pleasures increase our own debt which will be collected with interests at one point of our life.

Without changing our mentality, without understanding the external factors such as traditions, media and ways of society considered “normal” which usually are represented by misfit individuals who had many emotional and psychological issues; without that understanding it is easier to remain trapped. Not only has it become easier to accept the term “normal” as time goes by, but actually it is very comfortable. .. That becomes a new source of pleasure waiting to become pain.
When your feelings are in touch with nature and are reaching out to people without distinctions, at that point, the world of feelings will extinguish the lust for physical experiences. You see people as people when you feel their being. Feelings are not part of the body. That is why, we are not the body.

Considerations for a life style of Celibacy.

2008-07-31T18:38:00.001-04:00

Celibacy depends on your state of mind. If you fight your own lustful thoughts, they will become dreams, those dreams will become sort of a “reality” because you will not be celibate during a dream while still fighting your thoughts during conscious time.
Women and Men have “emissions.” The point is to keep these powerful liquids in yourself so your energy level remains high and your ability to tap into spirituality will be enhanced tremendously.
Unless there is some sort of fear to sex or some mental indisposition, the real meaning of practicing celibacy is to attain a higher spiritual connection with the “power house” with God.
Since celibacy starts with a clean mind, you need to take care of your diet. Your diet has an effect on your metabolism which will affect the feelings and thoughts going in your mind.
A vegetarian diet is necessary. However avoid garlic and onions and any strong spices since these foods have an aphrodisiac effect. In Egypt, at the time the pyramids were built, the slaves were fed with these aphrodisiacs as well as radishes. Since to build the pyramids was hard labor, many slaves lost their lives during the job, hence the need to keep the slave population increasing.
Unfortunately nowadays almost any food item that you buy at the store has garlic and/or onions in it. No wonder it is so difficult for people to follow this path. As you become more acquainted with people’s vibration fields, you will notice that food prepared from others will keep their thoughts vibrations as well, thus, to be safe it is recommended to prepare your own meals.
Of course, smoking, drinking and any kind of toxic substance should be definitely avoided.
You need to exercise outdoors and be in touch with nature as much as possible. Daily exercises combined with celibacy will keep you healthy and youthful looking. If you are in great shape the better off you are since it becomes a shield for your visual senses. Not everyone will fit your standards of physical beauty, thus physical attractions will be diminished specially at the beginning of your change. Later on, even though you will be able to appreciate physical beauty, you will not be excited about it. You will understand that there is more in beauty than someone’s body and face.
As far as exercises, I would like to recommend Hatha Yoga and Pranayama, then swimming or running. To keep your upper body fit, gymnastics, pull-ups, push ups, deeps, etc. Do these exercises outside, if possible. Personally I feel that hatha yoga is a good equalizer of male/female energies. (ying-yang) Males and Females need to learn to balance their polar energies by taking up some activity which is usually left for the opposite gender or which is needed to gain balance. If my strength is good but I am lacking flexibility, I will concentrate on flexibility exercises. Balancing the “ying-yang” energies is the best way to be fulfilled with yourself. In a subtle way, people look for a complement in the opposite gender due to this lack of balancing energies. Once you master this, you will be able to enjoy someone else’s company without the need to fulfill yourself.
Try sleeping from 4 to 6 hours every night. Wake up as early as possible. This practice will help you to deal with dreaming at night. You should go to sleep and fall sleep right away. You will have more time in your hands for other things. You will notice that sleeping 6 hours per night will become adequate for your life style.
Take up meditation. Here is where the changes in your personality will start. Meditate regularly. Those who have a strong believe in God will have a greater advantage here. Ultimately in my experience, a spiritual connection from soul to soul is the greatest healing agent against lustful feelings. Your feelings are connected deeply with your thoughts. If your thoughts are of pure good wishes for others, your feelings will be tinted with that color, then impure thoughts will not affect your mind and thus the sexual drive will diminish its force.
Read spiritual materials more often or “self-help” books which have teachings that you can use as a part of your personality, your mind needs to be busy with the right kind of things. Of course, “pollutants” which are used by the media (tv, newspapers, magazines, pictures, movies, etc.) need to be recognized as a source of pollution for the mind. The mind needs to be clean from the “infection” of these to be successful in practicing a celibate life style.

Meditating on Fitness

2008-07-26T11:34:00.002-04:00

In the “new age” circles many “laws” have appeared: Attraction, Least Effort, Projection, etc. “Quantum physics “and laws is science way to make spirituality into something scientific.
The “law of polarity” will be discussed here. In layman terms, if there is hot, there must be cold. If there is good, there must be bad and so forth. Spiritual exercises (meditation, praying) and physical exercises are perceived as such opposites.
The problem of this opposition resides in the goal. For instance, in a competitive society “winning” is the aim. When you are in “good shape” you are ready to compete and win. The enjoyment of movement through physical exercises is left for “old people “and “losers.” You use exercise to win. That is the goal.
The same idea holds true with spirituality. When not in balance, it becomes a dogmatic belief in self denial and fear of the body to pursue “higher goals.”
In my last trip to India, I was able to experience how exercise fits nicely into the spiritual path. Take for instance, the popular “yoga” or “hatha yoga.” Those are physical practices to keep the body healthy and balanced. Originally it was meant for “yogis” or spiritual seekers to keep themselves healthy, so their bodies would not become a problem in their spiritual endeavors.
Hatha Yoga, pranayama (breathing techniques,) chanting and cleansing techniques such as “neti” are meant to strengthen the body in order to pursue “Rajayog” or spiritual illumination. There is a set of moral codes to follow along with the exercises known as” Yamas and Niyamas.” In the West, those rules have been conveniently changed by so called yogi practitioners. Celibacy or “brahmacharya” is a good example. It has been turned around to a more digestible “moderation.” Thus, Hatha yoga in the west has become the latest exercise fad, but its true spiritual objective has been forgotten.
Whereas in the West it is unheard of living without sex, in the East is quite common especially if the goal is a spiritual life. According to the Vedic traditions, the end result of ‘brahmacharya’ practiced to perfection is unbounded vitality. Energy is needed to be engaged in physical exercises at any age.
In my experience, if someone wants to pursue a higher spiritual path, celibacy is necessary to succeed. There are no shortcuts. The reason is simple. The mind needs to be free from any source of dependency. Your mind needs to be free from the desire of sex altogether. There are other less obvious "desires" as well, but sex is the first "obstacle" in a legitimate spiritual path. I mean by legitimate the study and understanding of the self as an imperishable spiritual entity which experiences a bodily, physical experience. Physical experiences are ephemeral, the true spiritual being is eternal.Thus, the mantle of mirages, illusions of the physical world needs to be understood and realized. This understanding will free a person from physical desires.

Running and swimming are popular sports which produce a ‘high.’ In that state of euphoria which varies between individuals, you are tapping into a different state of consciousness. According to science it is about releasing endorphins into the blood system; interestingly not everyone experiences a runner’s high. Meditation allows you to experience that” high” without the sweat. Some people meditate while running or swimming. It is a joyful experience with no side effects.
The body is not there consciously. It is sort of a state where your body is not disturbing you, you are at peace and balance with it, you are in the “zone “and thus; everything flows.
Meditation allows you to experience that high but it connects you to a higher source which will recharge you. Many times we associate meditation with forcing the mind to be still and to concentrate on an object or to repeat words. That is not meditating. You are just learning to concentrate. You meditate using your feelings and your thoughts to feed those feelings. When you feel bliss, there is no need to force the mind to stay focused; it naturally wants to be there while the experience lasts.
Fitness and Spirituality are two sides of the same coin. The minute we only focus at one side, we miss the other. When we understand the polarity of a coin, we find balance within.

Celibacy and its connection with fitness

2008-07-19T22:38:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I encounter some websites which are marketed by so called “sex experts” which believe that sex is the ultimate panacea. It is the “Tylenol” for everything. These individuals usually do not offer a living proof of their statements neither a complete reference of the studies/research which they use to give scientific support to their claims. The truth is: Show me one research which demonstrates that having regular sex will improve your fitness, and I will show you cases where even athletes have abstained from sex while being in top condition. The book by Manta Chia “ Taoists secrets of love: cultivating male sexual energy” mentions the name of some of them. Mohamed Ali, Guillermo Vilas and others. You can read this for further info.Please note the sheer ignorance of sex experts when they deal with athletes. It is not about “calories” spent. There is a tremendous energy in semen which is wasted when ejeculated. That energy is able to create life. When that energy is used in spiritual or creative endeavors, the sky will be the limit.
I have been an athlete myself for 25 years, competing at the national and college level. I can tell you that there is a huge difference as far as focus, mental relaxation, concentration and stamina as well as recuperation after a race when you have been practicing abstinence for quite sometime. Your body becomes stronger and able to maintain top physical fitness for a longer time.
Take a look at the body of those who are in their mid 30s to 40’s. If they have been lured by sex, usually they will gain weight, develop the so called “love handles,” their chins and faces will become puffier and their eyes lose their brightness. Their face and body features will decline. Someone who has been celibate for quite some time will look younger than his age and his body will be able to maintain his physical prowess for a long time.
By keeping your sexual energy intact definitely, your health and fitness level will improve as long as you practice a regular exercise routine.

Informative links

2008-07-18T13:24:00.004-04:00

I recommend the following informative links about celibacy. It is very important to be informed. We already have the media making tremendous profits by exploiting human weaknesses such as lust and anger, in the name of "love,""passion," and "normal behavior."
http://www.dlshq.org/teachings/brahmacharya.htm
It is a link to a teaching of Swami Sivananda. As far as I am concerned, the information is pretty good and accurate in my experience. However, I disagree in his teachings about “how to get established in celibacy.” The idea is to get to the state of celibacy in a natural way. You cannot achieve something naturally by rejecting the opposite gender. This is change by force. In my experience, it is possible to achieve this by changing our vision and our feelings towards the opposite sex. It is only through interaction how you get to know where you stand. Of course, there are other practices that should go along with our vision and feelings, namely a wholesome vegetarian diet avoiding garlic and onions due to their aphrodisiac properties and a sincere love to God which could be expressed trough prayer or regular meditation.
http://www.ambrosian.org/index.html
This site shares good information as well. However, their philosophy as to why is important to remain celibate is lacking. The benefits of a celibate life style are explained but the knowledge to support celibacy is not there. It is not a question of being a rebel. It is a question to realize that procreation at this time and age is foolish. The earth has reached a level of population where survival becomes difficult for many. Natural resources are lacking and they will lack even more as years go by. Man has an affinity for power and money. That greed will not allow society to improve their condition. The few who control the immense majority are the ones with full and deep pockets. We are too many on this Earth at this time.
The following link in that site is especially good: http://www.pnas.org/content/98/14/7904.full?ijkey=051e23d20f70b9e31344e17f76d3bd47573685ab

http://www.celibacy.info/
Very good information. Quite explicit. However it would have been nice to read some information from the author of the site as well. Lots of links from other people, but his own experience in the topic, in my view; is needed.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celibate
This is an entertaining/ informative link which gives the names of famous people who practice celibacy.

The Power of Celibacy: An experience beyond the senses

2008-07-17T10:54:00.000-04:00

Celibacy is a state of mind which takes us back to the experience of being a child again. The practice of celibacy has countless benefits. Physically, the amount of strength, stamina and muscle quality will increase. That vitality is a characteristic of a child. Even when a child shouts all day, his throat does not grow hoarse or dry. Emotionally, celibacy will bring stability. The playful and innocent approach of a child will be noticed in your interactions. Intellectually, your mind will be sharper and acute. You will be able to understand subtleties. Your intellect will be deep and broad.
Spiritually, the power of celibacy is a must, in my experience. Many religions praise celibacy as a means to reach God or the Divine. Celibacy is necessary to experience a very distinct type of connection which brings about deep transformation of the self.
How do I start? Physically, it is very helpful if you could train yourself like an athlete to become acquainted with your own body. Practice one exercise which allows you to be in contact with nature. A vegetarian diet avoiding garlic, onions and any non- natural and processed product is most useful. A careless diet will be an obstacle for you to reach the goal. Less hours and a better quality of sleep is essential. There is a link between celibacy and sleep time specially when dealing with the subtle level of consciousness. Learn to balance the dual energies within yourself, called "ying-yang" popularly. Balance them. Learn to emit feelings of "Pure wishes and feelings for all" that emerge from the heart "chakra" or above. How is likely to feel? I will share my experience. It was easy to avoid the temptation, but then the real work started. It was my dreams that seemed to attack me with great force. I felt defeated. It is common, and most people will stop at this stage calling this pursue a futility, a "senseless fight against nature." Do not give up. You may lose a battle, but you will win the war. If you are determined victory is guaranteed. Paraphrasing Carl Jung, if you fight"the urge and temptation" more of it will be on the way. Success is about understanding. Experiment! Observe yourself and how you feel around "trigger points." This "urge" or "libido" is closely related with lust as many religions point out. I have found that anger is intimately related with lust as siblings are blood related. Conquer one of them, the other will wither away. Understand what triggers those vices in you and remain in a non-reactive frame of mind, observing the "show" within you. Meditation is helpful for this, since it allows you to be aware of your inner world.
Pursuing the path of Celibacy, after being part of the "other side" is a real challenge. It defeats any other feat that you can think of. The reward of it, however; is immense.
Through a connection with the source, with God; things become easier. In this connection you will never feel that you are giving something up, but celibacy will become a natural state. There is real pleasure experienced as your level of "purity" increases. It is called "supersensous joy." In this experience you are obtaining something much enjoyable. The experience of fulfillment, of bliss and happiness, which will manifest in feelings as energy through your heart or through your head and will last as long as you can hold it. Finally, something where too much of it, is simply very good for you!
May you be a conqueror of yourself and enjoy the fountain of youth by going back to your child like nature. Blessings from the heart!

Feel free to email me, if you have a question.