I left a comment on your healthy celibacy blog back in January. The title was "Dealing with perceived sexual urges". I had a question about how to move energy.
Thank you for your reply it was helpful.
I actually already do practice pranayama and a form of yoga, that practice has greatly helped with celibacy. About the middle of February I made a vow of celibacy to myself and to my guru, and since then my sexual desires haven't bothered me! It was all in my mind, because now if a little feeling of a sexual urge comes up, I sort of laugh at it. "Oh little one, you have no power over me anymore". And I practice kriya and try to move the energy up my spine and express it as love for the greatest Lover in the Universe.
My email is about a different question I have. I thought I was in control of my sexual energy, but recently I have had (maybe 4-5) sexually charged dreams in which I am engaging in intercourse and orgasm. This has been over a period of about 2 weeks. During the dream I am aware that I am experiencing "pleasure" and do not want to stop. I am always surprised when I wake up, that if I had that awareness why did I not wake myself up an stop it? Usually my vital energy wants to express itself in lower sexual energy centers around time of menstruation, so these sexual dreams would correspond with this time. But I would like to transform this, because I believe in celibacy in thought just as strongly as celibacy in deed. These dreams mean my sexual desires have had to retire ot the subconscious mind because I will not let them have control over my conscious mind, but it also means they still exist, and I am not transmuting them completely.
Do you have any suggestions or insights for me?
Answer:
I gather that you fit the "profile" of someone who follows celibacy for elevated reasons.
As you know, we are spiritual beings; souls but we have a physical experience.For that reason, physical pleasure is not "real" pleasure (for someone aware of being a soul) but spiritual bliss is what we are looking for. Sexual pleasure brings attachment and the mind gets caught up in it. There is a feeling of being guilty of something because we are depleting our life energy, it is slow suicide. Obviously, not everyone will think the same, because subtle sensibility is needed.That is a gift that not everyone possesses.
Personally what helped me a lot in the beginning was to follow the "elevated conduct" of the Brahma Kumaris. If there is a center close to you I would recommend for you to give them a visit and explore their philosophy.
That "elevated conduct" consisted on: 1) Waking up every day at 3:30 AM and meditation for 45 minutes at 4:00 AM
2) vegetarian food without garlic nor onions (they are natural aphrodisiacs) Cook your own food. Do not let anyone who is not practicing and living a celibate life to cook for you 3)Spiritual classes everyday at 6:30 AM 4) Night meditation at 7 pm. 5) celibacy. This routine I have been doing for the last 7 years, everyday. Every step of this routine has a reason to be there, which I can talk about some other time.
This routine helped me to become sensitive to spiritual energies. I was able to feel Godly energy and my own energy during my meditations. Perhaps, being able to feel myself as a soul residing in the middle of my forehead was a great discovery. My concentration increased as well as my capacity to understand subtle spiritual teachings beyond the "words".
While doing this routine I had my tests. As you mentioned, dreams at night (even wet dreams,) feeling awkward while around the opposite gender, feeling extreme attraction for the opposite gender while at the same time wanting to suppress those feelings. While in this experience most people will give up and give in to sex again, then they will say that "sex is a natural necessity". They do not understand that an old trait is not easy to get rid of. It is like drinking coffee and seeing that everyone around you enjoys coffee, but deep inside even though you have tasted coffee, you know that it is not for you anymore. A soul has lived many lives before and those "old sexual traits" are in it. That is why it takes some work and Godly help to overcome them.
I discovered that as long as I kept my routine of following the "elevated conduct," I was safe. I also discovered that repression of any kind is not the path to conquer our own weaknesses.
I discovered that energy needed to be transformed from physical to spiritual. Changing lust and anger into love from the heart. This can be learned by having deep love for God and remembering Him during meditations and throughout the day. Then, it is important to direct those feelings to others as well. Lust is replaced by the feeling of beauty. The soul wants to be close to something beautiful. To be close to Nature is the first step.
Appreciation of Nature has the capacity to fill the soul with beauty. Once we are filled with beauty, naturally; lust is something foreigner to us.
After that, relating with others through good wishes for them is important. That inner beauty needs to be circulated and sent to others.
After this step, you are ready to face the attractions of the body again.I had the need to express love, to express feelings through physical touch. My emotions needed further healing and I was open to experience a new teaching. Someone else may not have that need. I became a massage therapist. Then i understood that even though most religions teach us to suppress and to turn our faces whenever there is temptation, once we become spiritually ready, we need to face that fear to be able to conquer it. Through massage therapy and through healing I was able to express what I felt and not to be in conflict with myself. Energy needs to be expressed in the most elevated way.The body and the attraction of the body lost its meaning because I was spiritually ready to see that it is an illusion. Having good wishes and pure feelings transforms the energy of lust, then the dreams at night, lose their power, because the subconscious and the conscious are not at conflict anymore.
For you this may not be an issue, but once you honestly discover within yourself about your own weaknesses, you will know what you need to conquer. If spirituality is your path, then life will present the opportunity for you to overcome those weaknesses. If God is in your heart in a very honest way; you will gain His protection. You are not alone after all when you have God in your heart.
Best wishes in your chosen path,
Luis
