Many believe that lust is a “natural” function of the eyes: “The criminal eyes”. For some, to “control the eyes” is the answer to control lust. Some, don't even care about controlling lust for they feel that they “like it like that”. Different answers form different perspectives and different realities.
A garbage can is filthy for a well educated human; but for a fly... it is heaven.
Lust has been a problem for many in the history of humanity. Wars have been waged in the name of lust. No wonder in the path of bhakti (devotion), there are stories of people taken their eyes and becoming blind.
Or how about those who “renounce” the opposite gender? Or those who call the “opposite gender names” to feel “safe” and “victorious” because they have “rejected” their source of “temptation”.
Conquering lust is not the adequate term once the “fear” and “repugnance” of such a “dirty behavior” is not suppressed in our search for celibacy, but rather understood. “Conquering” means an everlasting battle. It is about transformation.
We cannot “conquer” one side of duality. We need to embrace duality and transform the energy of it.
Rejection is out. Suppression is out. Fear is out.
Sounds good? Let us make it plain and simple.
There is an advice from older traditions, for those trying to remain celibate: “See everyone as brothers and sisters.” A deeper understanding of these words will point into transforming our vision.
Simple?
Once our vision changes, our attitude will change. Once our attitude changes; that will make an impact (perception) on others.
This practice requires extreme awareness and to develop the feelings to overcome the “habit” of behaving/ sending the vibes of a “normal” Joe: “I want you, let me make it clear.” That is the so called “normal” behavior.
We have learned to put the physical body first in our awareness and we have forgotten about the feelings. A male may “see” someone desirable or a female may “hear” something “nice” from someone. That does not trigger anything until our emotions kick in.... emotions are feelings in the consciousness of the body, in dualism.
Therefore, maintaining our vision is the first step. That vision automatically creates our attitude (our actions, behavior) and that creates an impact on the other person that we are dealing with.
Transforming those feelings of “here is something which I desire” to “here is something which I care for” makes a difference. Our attitude then will be of care for the other person.
That caring vibration has an impact on the person which we care about. He/She will say about us: “such a sweet caring person”. That is the “impact”.
The same happens when someone describes myself to another person. That perception of me is the “impact” that I have imprinted due to my attitude towards someone. The origin was my vision. I transformed my vision.
Devotion and traditional guru advice tells me: “do not look at someone below the eyes, otherwise that is where problems start”. That is plain body consciousness. My vision does not deal with my eyes, it deals with my feelings. I am a soul, my language are my feelings...
As my vision changes my physical eyes will change as well. I cannot have “criminal eyes” if my vision has changed.
My vision deals with the knowledge, the experience that “I am a soul” and so the other person is just another point of light moving that body. My thoughts are not there to interfere with waste of duality, but just my feelings are there for that moment.
Why a 4 year old male/female looks at a 5 year old of a different gender without the “criminal eye”?
That kid vision makes the difference. As his/her vision; his/her behavior will be... and as such, his/her impact will be on the other person.
Thus, vision makes our attitude and our attitude makes an impact (perception that others have about us).
Celibacy starts in our vision and our vision is supported by knowledge of our true nature.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Experiences from reader "H." in the path of Celibacy
Diet
a)I have completely given up eggs now and any protein supplements. I am using almonds which i soak up at night in water and eat in the morning.
b) I am also eating oatmeals and a lot of vegetables.
c) I will also try quinoa . I did not find it in walmart, seems like this is kept in health stores only.
About sleep
I have been trying to change my sleep pattern to sleep earlier and am still struggling. It takes me a while to sleep (like an hour ), but hopefully I will be able to overcome this soon. I also wash my legs with cold water before going to sleep, I find this to be very relaxing and also good defense against dreams.
Other
One more thing I have found is that if I am exercising self restraint in my senses but yet if I give in to some kind of procrastination- like delaying something which I need to do or being afraid of something, sooner or later I lose my seed. Over a long period of trial and error - I have come to firmly see this pattern emerge that brahmacharya is conservation of energy in all departments and moderation in all aspects. If I am exercising restraint in only the 1 aspect , sooner or later , the past cravings come out.
I have been able to exercise my restraint for a month regularly and after that it just hounds me. I am still determined. I have always wanted to be continent for a period of 100 days and feel that superb energy and bliss that so many people describe and am very hopeful that I can achieve it someday.
a)I have completely given up eggs now and any protein supplements. I am using almonds which i soak up at night in water and eat in the morning.
b) I am also eating oatmeals and a lot of vegetables.
c) I will also try quinoa . I did not find it in walmart, seems like this is kept in health stores only.
About sleep
I have been trying to change my sleep pattern to sleep earlier and am still struggling. It takes me a while to sleep (like an hour ), but hopefully I will be able to overcome this soon. I also wash my legs with cold water before going to sleep, I find this to be very relaxing and also good defense against dreams.
Other
One more thing I have found is that if I am exercising self restraint in my senses but yet if I give in to some kind of procrastination- like delaying something which I need to do or being afraid of something, sooner or later I lose my seed. Over a long period of trial and error - I have come to firmly see this pattern emerge that brahmacharya is conservation of energy in all departments and moderation in all aspects. If I am exercising restraint in only the 1 aspect , sooner or later , the past cravings come out.
I have been able to exercise my restraint for a month regularly and after that it just hounds me. I am still determined. I have always wanted to be continent for a period of 100 days and feel that superb energy and bliss that so many people describe and am very hopeful that I can achieve it someday.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
HEALTH: PURITY, UNITY AND HARMONY
Stumbled by "chance" into this... Thought it was worthwhile to share it.
Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov on
HEALTH: PURITY, UNITY AND HARMONY
Causes of illnesses: the impurities
« Illnesses can have all kinds of causes, but in reality what lies at the basis of an illness, of whatever kind, are the impure elements a person has allowed to penetrate their physical organism or their psychic organism. These elements cause disorders because they do not vibrate in harmony with the healthy part of their organism. If, however, they succeed in driving them out or transforming them, health is restored. This is why purity is so important for our mental and physical health. And by purity I mean rejection of any element that interferes with the proper functioning of our organism. Unfortunately, as soon as people hear the word purity, they stop listening. Purity, to them, is a restricting concept, outmoded, good only for convents, and so they continue to swallow whatever comes along: indigestible food, polluted atmosphere, dark thoughts and chaotic feelings. When will they understand that it is these very impurities that make them ill? If they worked on purity their health would improve, they would become more intelligent, wiser and stronger. »
« There are two main causes which are producing diseases and sufferings: first is physical: incorrect food and incorrect breathing; second is psychic: incorrect thoughts and incorrect feelings.
A great part of diseases are due to disorders of feelings; and many diseases are due to disorders of reflexion. » (Peter Deunov)
Definition of health: harmony
« Health is the result of the work all the organs of our body carry out together and in harmony for the good of our whole being. From the moment, therefore, an element enters our organism that does not obey this law of harmony it creates disturbances, and these disturbances, this disharmony is what we know as illness. The same phenomenon occurs in the psychic organism. When the thoughts, feelings and desires of human beings let in elements that do not vibrate in harmony with their entire inner being, they also let in illness. So, when you feel troubled, instead of looking for complicated reasons why you should feel this way, understand that you have allowed chaotic and dark thoughts and feelings into your head and your heart. Seek them out and try to eliminate them. »
« A person comes to seek my advice on her health: she has consulted all the doctors, taken every possible remedy, but there is no improvement. I tell her: "Since you have tried everything and nothing has worked, well now, try a remedy that you have not thought of. Harmonize yourself with the sublime creatures of the universe and tell them: 'I love you, I am in harmony with you, I want to accomplish the will of God...' and gradually you will feel an improvement." If people are sick, it is because they have troubled the inner order that nature has established within them. That is why they have to be taught some lessons, in order to learn to reestablish harmony. The whole universe sings this harmony, and the one who does not have respect for it is expelled. »
Prevention
« A man owns a beautiful car. He is extremely vigilant with regard to its maintenance, he uses the highest grade petrol in it, fits it with the best tyres, and so on. But when he gets into it he is not careful, nor is he able to keep his self-control. He performs rough and dangerous manoeuvres, he drives at great speed, he brakes suddenly, and then of course this poor man-handled car soon breaks down. Well, this is how most human beings treat their physical body. They are not in the least bit aware of the marvel their organism represents, in what workshops it was built, how much work the spirit put into it and how much it cost the Creator to perfect it. You will say you treat your physical body with care and respect. Maybe, but that is not enough. If you really want to be in good health then you must be attentive, provident and careful, in other words avoid impassioned states, chaotic thoughts and emotions, all of which weaken and wear out your organism. »
Food
« One of people's main concerns nowadays is to be able to eat healthy food. It is of course highly desirable that food should not be contaminated, but it is also important for those people who are involved in its preparation to be aware that the food they handle becomes impregnated with their emanations and subsequently passes these on to those who eat it. People use their hands to prepare food and a person's hands magically transmit something of this person's quintessence. Chefs, cooks, bakers and all those people who prepare food for their families on a daily basis must know this law of chemistry and magic. With this knowledge they will then get into the habit of touching food, conscious that what they are holding in their hands will contribute to the edification of the body of people nearby and far away, persons known and persons unknown. This is a huge responsibility and it is therefore worthwhile for them to endeavour to be dwelling in the best inner state when they prepare food, fostering thoughts of good health, peace and light for those who are due to eat it. »
Links
« Nothing happens to us by mere chance. Our thoughts and feelings bring us into contact with entities, currents and elements in space that correspond to those thoughts and feelings, and we end up attracting them. This is how health and illness, strength and weakness, intelligence and short-sightedness, beauty and ugliness in people come about. We attract these physical and psychic states, and so, if you are faced with problems in this life, it is because through ignorance you attracted unhealthy and unsound elements in the past. So now you know the real reason why things happen in your life, resolve to work on your thoughts and feelings, because you will then connect with the purest and most luminous entities and regions in the universe and you will receive from them all the qualities you need to rebuild yourself: beauty, strength, intelligence, and so on. This is the true secret of resurrection. »
Doctor and medicines
« When a doctor prescribes medicines for the sick, does he explain to them that the state of mind in which they take them can contribute to their efficacy? No, he acts as if human beings were merely machines that must be repaired. A good doctor, on the other hand, also points out rules of life to his patients and even some exercises by means of which they will establish balance, peace and harmony within themselves. Even if these methods prove to be inadequate in the face of a grave illness, the patient will at least spend what life he has left in activities that are useful. Above all, it is essential to find a beneficial activity to which you can dedicate yourself, for everything has consequences, if not in the physical world, at least in the world of the spirit. »
« Doctors should understand that merely healing the sick is not sufficient. They should also put a few truths in their patients' heads at the same time. I ask a doctor this question:
- "You have made these people better, haven't you. But did they subsequently change their lifestyle? Are they not going to continue their ridiculous ways and become ill again?"
- "Well yes, unfortunately this is true."
So it is clear that before agreeing to cure people, doctors should enlighten their patients in order to prevent them from falling prey to the same excesses and victim of the same imbalances. If I were a doctor I would simply refuse to look after people who did not first promise me to improve their lifestyle. Since I would not ask to be paid I would ask them at least to pay the Lord by improving themselves. And if they refused to make this promise I would send them elsewhere. Of course, if someone has just been rescued from the water or is suffocating, that is not the time to extract promises from them. They have to be saved. But I want doctors to understand it is not sufficient to cure people "for the time being", they should also enlighten them so they may find permanent good health again...»
Perspiring - exchanges
« Perspiring is good for your health. But perspiring physically, i.e. sweating, is not enough, and do not be surprised if I tell you that the soul and the spirit must also perspire. Love makes the soul perspire and wisdom makes the spirit perspire. Of course the word perspiring must be understood in a very wide sense. Perspiration symbolizes a perfect exchange that is established between the microcosm (humankind) and the macrocosm (the universe). Physically, these exchanges occur through the skin, as we discard waste and absorb energy through the skin. In the subtle plane, however, these exchanges occur through the aura, which is our spiritual skin. So, if I say that, like our physical body, our soul and our spirit must also perspire, I am referring to the exchanges we must make in the subtle planes with divine wisdom and love. »
A key: love
« Love, and all doors will open up to you. So stop asking yourself why you are unhappy, why you suffer so many setbacks, and so on. The reason is simply that you have no love. If you had love, nothing would resist you, because when you have love you do not stay there doing nothing. Someone will say:
- "I'm ill."
- "Well, exactly, it's because you have no love."
- "But what is the connection?"
- "If you had love for health, good health would have established itself in you long ago. If you are ill, it's because you do not really love health. So there you have it."
Once you have love for all that is good, for all that is beautiful, and you live with this love day and night, no force in the universe will be able to resist you. Because there is nothing above love. Love has created the world and all forces obey love. »
More on Love & Healing, including an Amazing Near Death Experience & Journey Into the Love and Light of God Followed By Cancer Healing.
Circulation - life
« We are immersed in a world of spiritual abundance, and if most people fail to benefit from these blessings, it is because their inner channels are obstructed so all free circulation is blocked. This is why initiatic science has only one aim: to teach us how to purify ourselves so that all contacts can be reconnected and so that divine life can flow unhindered within us. When divine life flows freely, our physical bodies and especially our psychic bodies (emotional, mental and spiritual) are provided with everything they need for excellent health. If there is no circulation, then death gradually encroaches. So each day, several times a day, remember to cleanse, to purify. Let the waters flow, the celestial waters of heaven. Visualize yourself standing in a torrent or under a waterfall; imagine that your impurities are swept away and that you become as transparent as crystal. Since effective methods such as this exist, why not make use of them? »
The circulation in all domains is an important element of health.
Numerous disturbances or freezings are at origin of numerous diseases. Then, exchanges do not work correctly any more and disorders appear.
For example, scars provoke dams interrupting circulations and exchanges. These obstacles are the cause of disorders which go in amplifying with the time. And so years later, diseases appear by disrupting the organs functioning which are in contact with the place of the scar...
In the body, there are numerous systems which all have to work harmoniously to be healthy: cardio-vascular system, lymphatic system, respiratory system, nervous system, digestive system, energy systems (knew of acupuncture, acupressure, reflexology), glandular or endocrinian system (closely connected to the system of chakras), etc... Each of these systems is in connection with one or several subtle bodies (etherical, astral, mental, causal, budda, atman,... body).
For example, the etheric body contains the meridian lines of acupuncture and the chakras of hinduism. The chakras are doors communicating and exchanging between the physical body and the other subtle bodies, which are seats of feelings, emotions and thoughts.
Circulation of life is a harmonious functioning of all these overlapping systems one in another and in constant interaction.
Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov on
HEALTH: PURITY, UNITY AND HARMONY
Causes of illnesses: the impurities
« Illnesses can have all kinds of causes, but in reality what lies at the basis of an illness, of whatever kind, are the impure elements a person has allowed to penetrate their physical organism or their psychic organism. These elements cause disorders because they do not vibrate in harmony with the healthy part of their organism. If, however, they succeed in driving them out or transforming them, health is restored. This is why purity is so important for our mental and physical health. And by purity I mean rejection of any element that interferes with the proper functioning of our organism. Unfortunately, as soon as people hear the word purity, they stop listening. Purity, to them, is a restricting concept, outmoded, good only for convents, and so they continue to swallow whatever comes along: indigestible food, polluted atmosphere, dark thoughts and chaotic feelings. When will they understand that it is these very impurities that make them ill? If they worked on purity their health would improve, they would become more intelligent, wiser and stronger. »
« There are two main causes which are producing diseases and sufferings: first is physical: incorrect food and incorrect breathing; second is psychic: incorrect thoughts and incorrect feelings.
A great part of diseases are due to disorders of feelings; and many diseases are due to disorders of reflexion. » (Peter Deunov)
Definition of health: harmony
« Health is the result of the work all the organs of our body carry out together and in harmony for the good of our whole being. From the moment, therefore, an element enters our organism that does not obey this law of harmony it creates disturbances, and these disturbances, this disharmony is what we know as illness. The same phenomenon occurs in the psychic organism. When the thoughts, feelings and desires of human beings let in elements that do not vibrate in harmony with their entire inner being, they also let in illness. So, when you feel troubled, instead of looking for complicated reasons why you should feel this way, understand that you have allowed chaotic and dark thoughts and feelings into your head and your heart. Seek them out and try to eliminate them. »
« A person comes to seek my advice on her health: she has consulted all the doctors, taken every possible remedy, but there is no improvement. I tell her: "Since you have tried everything and nothing has worked, well now, try a remedy that you have not thought of. Harmonize yourself with the sublime creatures of the universe and tell them: 'I love you, I am in harmony with you, I want to accomplish the will of God...' and gradually you will feel an improvement." If people are sick, it is because they have troubled the inner order that nature has established within them. That is why they have to be taught some lessons, in order to learn to reestablish harmony. The whole universe sings this harmony, and the one who does not have respect for it is expelled. »
Prevention
« A man owns a beautiful car. He is extremely vigilant with regard to its maintenance, he uses the highest grade petrol in it, fits it with the best tyres, and so on. But when he gets into it he is not careful, nor is he able to keep his self-control. He performs rough and dangerous manoeuvres, he drives at great speed, he brakes suddenly, and then of course this poor man-handled car soon breaks down. Well, this is how most human beings treat their physical body. They are not in the least bit aware of the marvel their organism represents, in what workshops it was built, how much work the spirit put into it and how much it cost the Creator to perfect it. You will say you treat your physical body with care and respect. Maybe, but that is not enough. If you really want to be in good health then you must be attentive, provident and careful, in other words avoid impassioned states, chaotic thoughts and emotions, all of which weaken and wear out your organism. »
Food
« One of people's main concerns nowadays is to be able to eat healthy food. It is of course highly desirable that food should not be contaminated, but it is also important for those people who are involved in its preparation to be aware that the food they handle becomes impregnated with their emanations and subsequently passes these on to those who eat it. People use their hands to prepare food and a person's hands magically transmit something of this person's quintessence. Chefs, cooks, bakers and all those people who prepare food for their families on a daily basis must know this law of chemistry and magic. With this knowledge they will then get into the habit of touching food, conscious that what they are holding in their hands will contribute to the edification of the body of people nearby and far away, persons known and persons unknown. This is a huge responsibility and it is therefore worthwhile for them to endeavour to be dwelling in the best inner state when they prepare food, fostering thoughts of good health, peace and light for those who are due to eat it. »
Links
« Nothing happens to us by mere chance. Our thoughts and feelings bring us into contact with entities, currents and elements in space that correspond to those thoughts and feelings, and we end up attracting them. This is how health and illness, strength and weakness, intelligence and short-sightedness, beauty and ugliness in people come about. We attract these physical and psychic states, and so, if you are faced with problems in this life, it is because through ignorance you attracted unhealthy and unsound elements in the past. So now you know the real reason why things happen in your life, resolve to work on your thoughts and feelings, because you will then connect with the purest and most luminous entities and regions in the universe and you will receive from them all the qualities you need to rebuild yourself: beauty, strength, intelligence, and so on. This is the true secret of resurrection. »
Doctor and medicines
« When a doctor prescribes medicines for the sick, does he explain to them that the state of mind in which they take them can contribute to their efficacy? No, he acts as if human beings were merely machines that must be repaired. A good doctor, on the other hand, also points out rules of life to his patients and even some exercises by means of which they will establish balance, peace and harmony within themselves. Even if these methods prove to be inadequate in the face of a grave illness, the patient will at least spend what life he has left in activities that are useful. Above all, it is essential to find a beneficial activity to which you can dedicate yourself, for everything has consequences, if not in the physical world, at least in the world of the spirit. »
« Doctors should understand that merely healing the sick is not sufficient. They should also put a few truths in their patients' heads at the same time. I ask a doctor this question:
- "You have made these people better, haven't you. But did they subsequently change their lifestyle? Are they not going to continue their ridiculous ways and become ill again?"
- "Well yes, unfortunately this is true."
So it is clear that before agreeing to cure people, doctors should enlighten their patients in order to prevent them from falling prey to the same excesses and victim of the same imbalances. If I were a doctor I would simply refuse to look after people who did not first promise me to improve their lifestyle. Since I would not ask to be paid I would ask them at least to pay the Lord by improving themselves. And if they refused to make this promise I would send them elsewhere. Of course, if someone has just been rescued from the water or is suffocating, that is not the time to extract promises from them. They have to be saved. But I want doctors to understand it is not sufficient to cure people "for the time being", they should also enlighten them so they may find permanent good health again...»
Perspiring - exchanges
« Perspiring is good for your health. But perspiring physically, i.e. sweating, is not enough, and do not be surprised if I tell you that the soul and the spirit must also perspire. Love makes the soul perspire and wisdom makes the spirit perspire. Of course the word perspiring must be understood in a very wide sense. Perspiration symbolizes a perfect exchange that is established between the microcosm (humankind) and the macrocosm (the universe). Physically, these exchanges occur through the skin, as we discard waste and absorb energy through the skin. In the subtle plane, however, these exchanges occur through the aura, which is our spiritual skin. So, if I say that, like our physical body, our soul and our spirit must also perspire, I am referring to the exchanges we must make in the subtle planes with divine wisdom and love. »
A key: love
« Love, and all doors will open up to you. So stop asking yourself why you are unhappy, why you suffer so many setbacks, and so on. The reason is simply that you have no love. If you had love, nothing would resist you, because when you have love you do not stay there doing nothing. Someone will say:
- "I'm ill."
- "Well, exactly, it's because you have no love."
- "But what is the connection?"
- "If you had love for health, good health would have established itself in you long ago. If you are ill, it's because you do not really love health. So there you have it."
Once you have love for all that is good, for all that is beautiful, and you live with this love day and night, no force in the universe will be able to resist you. Because there is nothing above love. Love has created the world and all forces obey love. »
More on Love & Healing, including an Amazing Near Death Experience & Journey Into the Love and Light of God Followed By Cancer Healing.
Circulation - life
« We are immersed in a world of spiritual abundance, and if most people fail to benefit from these blessings, it is because their inner channels are obstructed so all free circulation is blocked. This is why initiatic science has only one aim: to teach us how to purify ourselves so that all contacts can be reconnected and so that divine life can flow unhindered within us. When divine life flows freely, our physical bodies and especially our psychic bodies (emotional, mental and spiritual) are provided with everything they need for excellent health. If there is no circulation, then death gradually encroaches. So each day, several times a day, remember to cleanse, to purify. Let the waters flow, the celestial waters of heaven. Visualize yourself standing in a torrent or under a waterfall; imagine that your impurities are swept away and that you become as transparent as crystal. Since effective methods such as this exist, why not make use of them? »
The circulation in all domains is an important element of health.
Numerous disturbances or freezings are at origin of numerous diseases. Then, exchanges do not work correctly any more and disorders appear.
For example, scars provoke dams interrupting circulations and exchanges. These obstacles are the cause of disorders which go in amplifying with the time. And so years later, diseases appear by disrupting the organs functioning which are in contact with the place of the scar...
In the body, there are numerous systems which all have to work harmoniously to be healthy: cardio-vascular system, lymphatic system, respiratory system, nervous system, digestive system, energy systems (knew of acupuncture, acupressure, reflexology), glandular or endocrinian system (closely connected to the system of chakras), etc... Each of these systems is in connection with one or several subtle bodies (etherical, astral, mental, causal, budda, atman,... body).
For example, the etheric body contains the meridian lines of acupuncture and the chakras of hinduism. The chakras are doors communicating and exchanging between the physical body and the other subtle bodies, which are seats of feelings, emotions and thoughts.
Circulation of life is a harmonious functioning of all these overlapping systems one in another and in constant interaction.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Daring not to be “normal” in a society that only tolerate “normal” individuals
One of the challenges when following the path of celibacy is the feeling of awkwardness, not being able to fit again into current standards.
There is some sort of discrimination going on. If you are single and you do not have a partner, automatically you become an outcast, a “something is wrong” case that “needs to be fixed”.
Those pressures can be tolerated up to a point... and then some strategies are needed to deal with this issue. I have done my share of those, but somehow I preferred the straight forward method of “breaking the news” so I can be myself. If you like it good.. if you don't...oh well...
Unfortunately, to be celibate in a sex propelled society is equivalent to having a death sentence over your head. Some people may experience this pressure to be higher than others, depending on how likely they are to be pursued or wanted. Going out, having fun, etc. becomes a difficulty.
Religious minded circles have this intrinsic protection. Members gather and have the same likes and dislikes which makes an ideal environment for support. There are many marriages and partnerships without a sexual life. However, those couples cannot be considered celibate since they may have other sexual practices or their “celibacy” is the product of a dis-functional life style rather than a choice for a higher purpose.
A person practicing celibacy need to be able to survive in this sexual minded environment.
It is my experience that the greatest protection is your commitment to be celibate. If we look at our own lifestyle and see the reason and feel in our hearts that we are following this path because it is an intrinsic expression of ourselves, if what we feel for spirituality or God is represented in this commitment; then no matter what happens around, that value will save our commitment.
Commitment is an extraordinary word. Commitment is related with being faithful to our own path, values, ideas and feelings. True celibacy is a matter of the mind. It deals with our thoughts. If we have not worked with our own feelings and to be able to recognize sexual energy within and be able to transform it; we are kidding ourselves if we think that we can maintain this life style.
If you are by yourself and you do not belong to a particular group for support, you will have a tough time; but the reward is even greater. You will not need to “hide” from others or be afraid of “getting involved with someone”. If you play out the consequences in your mind as if it was a movie being fast forwarded, you will realize that the mirage of something “greater” or “romantically appealing” when losing sight of your chosen path is one of the worst mistakes that we could make against ourselves.
Celibacy for the sake of celibacy is self denial or a psychological, mental or physical issue. Celibacy for the sake of being a spiritual being and discovering yourself is the noblest and rewarding path. Human beings do not realize that are unable to know what is love. Why? Because jealousy, hate, attachment and familiarity are part of our behavior. It is a mirage to pretend to live “ever happily” with someone who has those traits. Therefore, celibacy allows me to go deeper into myself without hurting myself or someone else for the sake of pleasure; and to look at that lust that is tormenting me and others, to closely look at that ego and that anger popping up like an internet ad.. and to do something about it. To work at it. Then perhaps, there will be a time to share our lives with someone, but no until these “normal traits” which prick one another; are gone. That commitment will pay off.
If you keep these things in mind when mingling with someone or when having those social “pressures” thrown at you; it will be easier to “draw the line”. A friend that does not allow you to be yourself... is not your friend. Better alone than in conflictive company.
There is some sort of discrimination going on. If you are single and you do not have a partner, automatically you become an outcast, a “something is wrong” case that “needs to be fixed”.
Those pressures can be tolerated up to a point... and then some strategies are needed to deal with this issue. I have done my share of those, but somehow I preferred the straight forward method of “breaking the news” so I can be myself. If you like it good.. if you don't...oh well...
Unfortunately, to be celibate in a sex propelled society is equivalent to having a death sentence over your head. Some people may experience this pressure to be higher than others, depending on how likely they are to be pursued or wanted. Going out, having fun, etc. becomes a difficulty.
Religious minded circles have this intrinsic protection. Members gather and have the same likes and dislikes which makes an ideal environment for support. There are many marriages and partnerships without a sexual life. However, those couples cannot be considered celibate since they may have other sexual practices or their “celibacy” is the product of a dis-functional life style rather than a choice for a higher purpose.
A person practicing celibacy need to be able to survive in this sexual minded environment.
It is my experience that the greatest protection is your commitment to be celibate. If we look at our own lifestyle and see the reason and feel in our hearts that we are following this path because it is an intrinsic expression of ourselves, if what we feel for spirituality or God is represented in this commitment; then no matter what happens around, that value will save our commitment.
Commitment is an extraordinary word. Commitment is related with being faithful to our own path, values, ideas and feelings. True celibacy is a matter of the mind. It deals with our thoughts. If we have not worked with our own feelings and to be able to recognize sexual energy within and be able to transform it; we are kidding ourselves if we think that we can maintain this life style.
If you are by yourself and you do not belong to a particular group for support, you will have a tough time; but the reward is even greater. You will not need to “hide” from others or be afraid of “getting involved with someone”. If you play out the consequences in your mind as if it was a movie being fast forwarded, you will realize that the mirage of something “greater” or “romantically appealing” when losing sight of your chosen path is one of the worst mistakes that we could make against ourselves.
Celibacy for the sake of celibacy is self denial or a psychological, mental or physical issue. Celibacy for the sake of being a spiritual being and discovering yourself is the noblest and rewarding path. Human beings do not realize that are unable to know what is love. Why? Because jealousy, hate, attachment and familiarity are part of our behavior. It is a mirage to pretend to live “ever happily” with someone who has those traits. Therefore, celibacy allows me to go deeper into myself without hurting myself or someone else for the sake of pleasure; and to look at that lust that is tormenting me and others, to closely look at that ego and that anger popping up like an internet ad.. and to do something about it. To work at it. Then perhaps, there will be a time to share our lives with someone, but no until these “normal traits” which prick one another; are gone. That commitment will pay off.
If you keep these things in mind when mingling with someone or when having those social “pressures” thrown at you; it will be easier to “draw the line”. A friend that does not allow you to be yourself... is not your friend. Better alone than in conflictive company.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Experience of Celibacy from a female perspective
Q: Why Celibacy?
A: (12/09) I first adopted it out of being fed up with failed connections that were based on sex. For so long, I was under the illusion that sexual relations was the way to achieve the “ultimate” connection with another but time after time it proved itself to be the ultimate disconnection. The pattern was relentless no matter who the person… We would have some sort of special connection. We would have sex. Then eventually we would end up feeling hurt by one another. I always remembered feeling weak and insecure in the connection with the other person, once we engaged in sexual relations. Things never seemed to make sense and I felt like I lacked some control over myself once the deed was done. So, when I discovered celibacy, I felt very enthusiastic about taking on the practice of not practicing.
My reason for remaining celibate after six years has deepened with experience. It’s the experience of connecting with myself as a soul and having a connection with the Supreme soul that has led way to this depth. Through this connection, I experience myself to be beyond the physical…a metaphysical being. I have experienced different forms of myself and the highest forms are this state of purity that is completely beyond any vibrations of the vices. At this point in time, this is only an experience of myself and not yet a state of being. The good part is that the contrast of purity vs. impurity is very evident. The impressions of the vices are still there and, although many of them have lost power, I have experienced in my spiritual journey what it is like to sustain them. This vice of lust is the one that weakens me the most. I don’t actually have to indulge in the act for it’s neighboring impressions to appear. It’s all a matter of looking to others for sense of self, comfort, protection, etc. It’s starts with attraction and ends with addiction. The soul becomes dependent on the other for these experiences. The intellect stops functioning properly but, worse then before, the intellect has the experience of wisdom and truth and so a serious battle takes place. It’s almost as if one could watch the quality of the soul degrade before the eyes. Like seeing a roaring fire turned to a shimmering amber.
A: (8/10)
Through this Spiritual journey, I have begun to experience a significant amount of spiritual power and virtues. Seeing these things in action is enough to keep me on this path. Before this path, I don’t remember thinking about or even know if I knew what celibacy or lust was?
Even after becoming celibate I have had much lust inside. Although I’ve continued to abstain, I have discovered that sex is the most overt form of lust…the ultimate satisfaction…sort of the end result of what is going on inside. Realistically speaking, I know that sex doesn’t just happen. There is a whole wealth of things going on inside before it happens. I’ve observed in myself that it starts with this desire to be close to a particular person. I create them in my mind and use these thoughts to sustain all sorts of feelings and vibes. That’s never enough though. It moves onto wanting to spend time with the person and needing to get to know them. Still that isn’t enough. Next I need to touch them. And yet that’s not enough. I then must move onto kissing. Why stop there? It doesn’t stop until sex happens. Eventually the sex with that person gets old and then the mind turns to another to sustain these feelings. One of the problems with me is that I have a difficult time letting go. Even though I might recognize that this source has been depleted, it’s like I get locked into seeing that connection as my only means for those feelings. I’m not able to see clearly. I tend to fight to protect and maintain this connection but the more I do this then the more I suffocate and push away the partner. Then the person rejects me even more and eventually I feel hurt and/or angry. One of us eventually disconnects and moves onto others. This cycle continues.
Although I haven’t taken it quite this far since I’ve been celibate, I have played out the emotions enough to see the pattern. The difference lately is that I have experienced internal power through my spiritual endeavors and have seen what virtues look like in action. Now, even when I experience myself going into the rudimentary forms of lust, like longing to be close to someone, I feel that power decrease. The more I go into these feelings, the less power I feel. It also seems to have an effect on my quality of being. I don’t see virtues come out in my actions as much. I guess it is because with lust I am in this state of taking from others. Virtues seem to be a giving force. They are independent of need. They are the result of self sovereignty. Lust makes me completely reliant on an external source for my sense of self, happiness, comfort, etc. When I am free from this, I am able to give. My mind isn’t bound to another and, therefore I am not preoccupied with finding external means to sustain this source. I am then able to see things clearly and free to be whatever I need to be or give whatever I need to give in any given circumstance. The liveliest virtues I experience from this state of being are sensibility, cooperation and creativity.
Another thing I have experienced from remaining celibate is the difference in the quality of my connections with others. Not being tied to a particular person because of lust has made me available for other connections. Because I am not constantly being pulled by this need to be with a particular person and am therefore available for different kinds of connections. From this, I have watched my connections with friends, family, co-workers and even perfect strangers grow and deepen. I have also discovered the value and beauty of friendships. I value them because they are instrumental in my spiritual growth. I find them beautiful because they provide the closeness and warmth from sharing while maintaining independence from one another. My previous reflection on celibacy states that I thought that sex was the ultimate connection with another. Now I am finding that friendship is because it seems that it is the kind of connection with others that is balanced and more able to maintain a higher level of connecting. Of course the correct connection with the self pervades all connections.
A: (12/09) I first adopted it out of being fed up with failed connections that were based on sex. For so long, I was under the illusion that sexual relations was the way to achieve the “ultimate” connection with another but time after time it proved itself to be the ultimate disconnection. The pattern was relentless no matter who the person… We would have some sort of special connection. We would have sex. Then eventually we would end up feeling hurt by one another. I always remembered feeling weak and insecure in the connection with the other person, once we engaged in sexual relations. Things never seemed to make sense and I felt like I lacked some control over myself once the deed was done. So, when I discovered celibacy, I felt very enthusiastic about taking on the practice of not practicing.
My reason for remaining celibate after six years has deepened with experience. It’s the experience of connecting with myself as a soul and having a connection with the Supreme soul that has led way to this depth. Through this connection, I experience myself to be beyond the physical…a metaphysical being. I have experienced different forms of myself and the highest forms are this state of purity that is completely beyond any vibrations of the vices. At this point in time, this is only an experience of myself and not yet a state of being. The good part is that the contrast of purity vs. impurity is very evident. The impressions of the vices are still there and, although many of them have lost power, I have experienced in my spiritual journey what it is like to sustain them. This vice of lust is the one that weakens me the most. I don’t actually have to indulge in the act for it’s neighboring impressions to appear. It’s all a matter of looking to others for sense of self, comfort, protection, etc. It’s starts with attraction and ends with addiction. The soul becomes dependent on the other for these experiences. The intellect stops functioning properly but, worse then before, the intellect has the experience of wisdom and truth and so a serious battle takes place. It’s almost as if one could watch the quality of the soul degrade before the eyes. Like seeing a roaring fire turned to a shimmering amber.
A: (8/10)
Through this Spiritual journey, I have begun to experience a significant amount of spiritual power and virtues. Seeing these things in action is enough to keep me on this path. Before this path, I don’t remember thinking about or even know if I knew what celibacy or lust was?
Even after becoming celibate I have had much lust inside. Although I’ve continued to abstain, I have discovered that sex is the most overt form of lust…the ultimate satisfaction…sort of the end result of what is going on inside. Realistically speaking, I know that sex doesn’t just happen. There is a whole wealth of things going on inside before it happens. I’ve observed in myself that it starts with this desire to be close to a particular person. I create them in my mind and use these thoughts to sustain all sorts of feelings and vibes. That’s never enough though. It moves onto wanting to spend time with the person and needing to get to know them. Still that isn’t enough. Next I need to touch them. And yet that’s not enough. I then must move onto kissing. Why stop there? It doesn’t stop until sex happens. Eventually the sex with that person gets old and then the mind turns to another to sustain these feelings. One of the problems with me is that I have a difficult time letting go. Even though I might recognize that this source has been depleted, it’s like I get locked into seeing that connection as my only means for those feelings. I’m not able to see clearly. I tend to fight to protect and maintain this connection but the more I do this then the more I suffocate and push away the partner. Then the person rejects me even more and eventually I feel hurt and/or angry. One of us eventually disconnects and moves onto others. This cycle continues.
Although I haven’t taken it quite this far since I’ve been celibate, I have played out the emotions enough to see the pattern. The difference lately is that I have experienced internal power through my spiritual endeavors and have seen what virtues look like in action. Now, even when I experience myself going into the rudimentary forms of lust, like longing to be close to someone, I feel that power decrease. The more I go into these feelings, the less power I feel. It also seems to have an effect on my quality of being. I don’t see virtues come out in my actions as much. I guess it is because with lust I am in this state of taking from others. Virtues seem to be a giving force. They are independent of need. They are the result of self sovereignty. Lust makes me completely reliant on an external source for my sense of self, happiness, comfort, etc. When I am free from this, I am able to give. My mind isn’t bound to another and, therefore I am not preoccupied with finding external means to sustain this source. I am then able to see things clearly and free to be whatever I need to be or give whatever I need to give in any given circumstance. The liveliest virtues I experience from this state of being are sensibility, cooperation and creativity.
Another thing I have experienced from remaining celibate is the difference in the quality of my connections with others. Not being tied to a particular person because of lust has made me available for other connections. Because I am not constantly being pulled by this need to be with a particular person and am therefore available for different kinds of connections. From this, I have watched my connections with friends, family, co-workers and even perfect strangers grow and deepen. I have also discovered the value and beauty of friendships. I value them because they are instrumental in my spiritual growth. I find them beautiful because they provide the closeness and warmth from sharing while maintaining independence from one another. My previous reflection on celibacy states that I thought that sex was the ultimate connection with another. Now I am finding that friendship is because it seems that it is the kind of connection with others that is balanced and more able to maintain a higher level of connecting. Of course the correct connection with the self pervades all connections.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Dealing with unconscious conflicts in the path of Celibacy
Hi Luis,
I left a comment on your healthy celibacy blog back in January. The title was "Dealing with perceived sexual urges". I had a question about how to move energy.
Thank you for your reply it was helpful.
I actually already do practice pranayama and a form of yoga, that practice has greatly helped with celibacy. About the middle of February I made a vow of celibacy to myself and to my guru, and since then my sexual desires haven't bothered me! It was all in my mind, because now if a little feeling of a sexual urge comes up, I sort of laugh at it. "Oh little one, you have no power over me anymore". And I practice kriya and try to move the energy up my spine and express it as love for the greatest Lover in the Universe.
My email is about a different question I have. I thought I was in control of my sexual energy, but recently I have had (maybe 4-5) sexually charged dreams in which I am engaging in intercourse and orgasm. This has been over a period of about 2 weeks. During the dream I am aware that I am experiencing "pleasure" and do not want to stop. I am always surprised when I wake up, that if I had that awareness why did I not wake myself up an stop it? Usually my vital energy wants to express itself in lower sexual energy centers around time of menstruation, so these sexual dreams would correspond with this time. But I would like to transform this, because I believe in celibacy in thought just as strongly as celibacy in deed. These dreams mean my sexual desires have had to retire ot the subconscious mind because I will not let them have control over my conscious mind, but it also means they still exist, and I am not transmuting them completely.
Do you have any suggestions or insights for me?
I left a comment on your healthy celibacy blog back in January. The title was "Dealing with perceived sexual urges". I had a question about how to move energy.
Thank you for your reply it was helpful.
I actually already do practice pranayama and a form of yoga, that practice has greatly helped with celibacy. About the middle of February I made a vow of celibacy to myself and to my guru, and since then my sexual desires haven't bothered me! It was all in my mind, because now if a little feeling of a sexual urge comes up, I sort of laugh at it. "Oh little one, you have no power over me anymore". And I practice kriya and try to move the energy up my spine and express it as love for the greatest Lover in the Universe.
My email is about a different question I have. I thought I was in control of my sexual energy, but recently I have had (maybe 4-5) sexually charged dreams in which I am engaging in intercourse and orgasm. This has been over a period of about 2 weeks. During the dream I am aware that I am experiencing "pleasure" and do not want to stop. I am always surprised when I wake up, that if I had that awareness why did I not wake myself up an stop it? Usually my vital energy wants to express itself in lower sexual energy centers around time of menstruation, so these sexual dreams would correspond with this time. But I would like to transform this, because I believe in celibacy in thought just as strongly as celibacy in deed. These dreams mean my sexual desires have had to retire ot the subconscious mind because I will not let them have control over my conscious mind, but it also means they still exist, and I am not transmuting them completely.
Do you have any suggestions or insights for me?
Answer:
I gather that you fit the "profile" of someone who follows celibacy for elevated reasons.
As you know, we are spiritual beings; souls but we have a physical experience.For that reason, physical pleasure is not "real" pleasure (for someone aware of being a soul) but spiritual bliss is what we are looking for. Sexual pleasure brings attachment and the mind gets caught up in it. There is a feeling of being guilty of something because we are depleting our life energy, it is slow suicide. Obviously, not everyone will think the same, because subtle sensibility is needed.That is a gift that not everyone possesses.
Personally what helped me a lot in the beginning was to follow the "elevated conduct" of the Brahma Kumaris. If there is a center close to you I would recommend for you to give them a visit and explore their philosophy.
That "elevated conduct" consisted on: 1) Waking up every day at 3:30 AM and meditation for 45 minutes at 4:00 AM
2) vegetarian food without garlic nor onions (they are natural aphrodisiacs) Cook your own food. Do not let anyone who is not practicing and living a celibate life to cook for you 3)Spiritual classes everyday at 6:30 AM 4) Night meditation at 7 pm. 5) celibacy. This routine I have been doing for the last 7 years, everyday. Every step of this routine has a reason to be there, which I can talk about some other time.
This routine helped me to become sensitive to spiritual energies. I was able to feel Godly energy and my own energy during my meditations. Perhaps, being able to feel myself as a soul residing in the middle of my forehead was a great discovery. My concentration increased as well as my capacity to understand subtle spiritual teachings beyond the "words".
While doing this routine I had my tests. As you mentioned, dreams at night (even wet dreams,) feeling awkward while around the opposite gender, feeling extreme attraction for the opposite gender while at the same time wanting to suppress those feelings. While in this experience most people will give up and give in to sex again, then they will say that "sex is a natural necessity". They do not understand that an old trait is not easy to get rid of. It is like drinking coffee and seeing that everyone around you enjoys coffee, but deep inside even though you have tasted coffee, you know that it is not for you anymore. A soul has lived many lives before and those "old sexual traits" are in it. That is why it takes some work and Godly help to overcome them.
I discovered that as long as I kept my routine of following the "elevated conduct," I was safe. I also discovered that repression of any kind is not the path to conquer our own weaknesses.
I discovered that energy needed to be transformed from physical to spiritual. Changing lust and anger into love from the heart. This can be learned by having deep love for God and remembering Him during meditations and throughout the day. Then, it is important to direct those feelings to others as well. Lust is replaced by the feeling of beauty. The soul wants to be close to something beautiful. To be close to Nature is the first step.
Appreciation of Nature has the capacity to fill the soul with beauty. Once we are filled with beauty, naturally; lust is something foreigner to us.
After that, relating with others through good wishes for them is important. That inner beauty needs to be circulated and sent to others.
After this step, you are ready to face the attractions of the body again.I had the need to express love, to express feelings through physical touch. My emotions needed further healing and I was open to experience a new teaching. Someone else may not have that need. I became a massage therapist. Then i understood that even though most religions teach us to suppress and to turn our faces whenever there is temptation, once we become spiritually ready, we need to face that fear to be able to conquer it. Through massage therapy and through healing I was able to express what I felt and not to be in conflict with myself. Energy needs to be expressed in the most elevated way.The body and the attraction of the body lost its meaning because I was spiritually ready to see that it is an illusion. Having good wishes and pure feelings transforms the energy of lust, then the dreams at night, lose their power, because the subconscious and the conscious are not at conflict anymore.
For you this may not be an issue, but once you honestly discover within yourself about your own weaknesses, you will know what you need to conquer. If spirituality is your path, then life will present the opportunity for you to overcome those weaknesses. If God is in your heart in a very honest way; you will gain His protection. You are not alone after all when you have God in your heart.
Best wishes in your chosen path,
Luis
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