We can identify strengths in our own personalities. Another name for strengths are values and virtues. Those strengths are not really our strengths unless we develop them. If I am able to bench press 200 pounds for one or two reps without exercising, I cannot call that to be strong. I have not explored the extent of my physical strength yet. Once I develop it, then I can see the extent of my own strength. Therefore, strength comes after I am aware of my own weakness. The awareness of my own weakness allows me to train myself to explore my own strength.
Similarly the weakness of lust, when it is observed, recognized and explored, will give us a chance to gain a strength, that is celibacy, purity or the mastery of our own senses.
Many religions and well known gurus and spiritual teachers recognize lust as a vice. Recognition is a good first step, however; the stages of observation and exploration are not considered. Resistance is the method offered to deal with a weakness. Many times the term “do not fall into temptation” is used and it describes our lack of understanding as to why lust is a weakness that needs to be overcome.
I can only explore lust in myself. I can observe it in others, but I can only recognize it in others when I had experienced it in myself. A child will not be able to recognize lust in the eyes of a person, because he/she has not awareness of it. A child has not experienced lust yet.
The experience of lust could be described as “wanting to posses something.” Spiritual teachers may call that “desire.” That desire is not in tune with a peaceful being, since that desire disturbs our own peace of mind. “I want him.” “I want her.” Summons the emotions. The so called “animal instinct” is nothing else but a person who has not experienced mental peace. As we are conscious of our own peaceful mind, then anything that deviates from that and brings a desire is giving us the chance to further understand our own depth of experience of that peace.
Sex lust is not conquered by separating males and females. It is not conquered by shaving our heads so we do not look “attractive” or that both sexes look the same. Sex lust is not conquered by resistance and suppression of emotions. Sex lust is primarily conquered when our feelings are in tune with a peaceful mind. The understanding of the type of relationship that I should have with others will make up my attitude towards a person. For instance, If I instill the relationship of brotherhood among all living beings and if I am consistent with this vision, no matter who I have in front of me, my peaceful mind will maintain the attitude of brotherhood and my thoughts will be aligned to that attitude.
The depth of our recognition and experience of sex lust within ourselves, allows us to recognize the “trigger points” and to switch our thoughts and feelings towards that restful, peaceful mind.
A true peaceful mind is a spiritual mind, because there is the recognition of my true spiritual nature. That recognition needs to be observed and explored; it needs to be tested to see the extent of my own strength despite situations. Life offers those situations as long as I am willing to learn about myself.
Someone may say: “I am celibate. That is why I stay away from men (or women). It is dangerous to mingle with the opposite sex.”
Someone may decide to sleep with the opposite sex to “test” his celibacy…(As I understand, Gandhi did) since one thing is to talk about wine without tasting it and another is to taste it and not to be drunk by its taste…. Or someone may decide to do nothing, because the “desire” does not arise, just like a child. There is no desire to test or no perception of danger when mingling with others.
A child is a true celibate: No clothes at the beach, no shame of it; no desire to possess, no idea of what lust is. Everyone was a child at one point in their life, all we need to know is to remember that. Different paths for different people. Self honesty will show us the best path. I cannot pretend to run a marathon when I just started running a couple of weeks ago, however; the most important step in any training to run a marathon is…the first step, on the first day of the beginning of that training, which will lead us into the way as long as determination is with me.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Additional links on abstinence and sexuality
- By author David Pratt, about "Sex and Sexuality" in a very unique approach.
"Pleasure at a price," by same author
"Nutritional advice for sex control and rejuvenation" by Dr.Raymond Bernard
"Psychological value of continence" by Dr.Bernard.
Statistics data by what appears to be a Russian site and some interesting articles about Sexuality
These articles are worthwhile to read in my opinion.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Dealing with perceived sexual urges
When we observe the reactions within we can choose the type of reactions which will be expressed to the outside. Sexual energy is a very powerful energy which needs to be moved and transformed. Without this knowledge of movement and transformation, the desire will increase and the energy will build up in the “root” chakra. Without movement, energy kept inside will alter our state of mind. Ejaculations, masturbation, wet dreams, are forms of expression of this energy. At this point, energy has been wasted.
Whatever sensations we perceive through the physical body are closely related with our subtle energies (chakras.)We feel physical attraction for someone; my stomach area will “feel funny.” That is a chakra which was stimulated. As our thoughts increase the desire for pleasure, subtle energy will build up and go “downwards” through the lower end chakras and finally this energy will go out of the body. We may feel a “relief” the sensation that I am ‘back to normal,’ but just as a frog inside a pot of water does not realize that temperature has gone up (if we were to boil that water) until it is too late; likewise, the same action of wastage of our own energy will manifest in pains, ailments, mental and physical weaknesses which we like to conveniently call normal “old age” for lack of knowledge.
That energy needs to be transformed. Attraction among human beings will be there. It is part of understanding duality and the law of karma. The energy which this attraction entails could be a lustful, needy, longing, possessive energy which will end in ejaculation or it could be refined and transformed using our heart chakra. The power of feelings will transform this energy, making it more subtle and meaningful. This energy could be sent to another person, or even God.
As the awareness of this energy of attraction is building up, I need to relax myself by breathing, using my mind to direct that energy at the level of my heart chakra and using my pure good wishes towards the trigger of that energy (person who I felt attracted.) Using shallow breaths and concentrating on my heart and eyes, I send this energy. What I send, I receive. This is a law (karma.) The thoughts sending this energy could be something like: “I wish you the best” Or “I thank you for your beauty, it is lighting up my day,” etc. It is all about changing our thoughts, attitude and feelings towards other human beings.
This practice is the basis for true “platonic love” between people. (Non-sexual love based on feelings, physical hugs, snuggling, etc. where there is no intercourse or mouth kiss in its more purist form.) It is based on feelings and transforming our control of this sexual energy inside us. In the average person this build up of energy will automatically create more tension in the body which will desire to release this energy ending up in sexual intercourse. Obviously, this lack of control of the self is usually tinted with romantic tones, but in actuality once this energy is gone there is a physical release and at the same time an unconscious feeling of depletion, which creates this “love-hate” circle, exploited by Hollywood movies and which makes sex completely misunderstood thus, mysterious and therefore, appealing to the masses.
Build up in tension within ourselves ends up in aggression, possessiveness and lack of self confidence and trust.
Pure platonic love based on feelings does not last 5 minutes. As long as the energy is transformed into pure feelings from the heart, automatically your senses change as well. Your touch becomes sensitive, caresses become light and meaningful, the eyes will transmit loving feelings and most importantly you will feel energized by the power of tenderness and nurtured by true feelings of closeness.
Without the previous training/mastering to be able to move energy across your body and without the understanding of producing feelings from the heart chakra to overcome the “root” lower chakra, any practice of platonic love, will end up in losing the seed, in ejaculation. In other words, wastage, thus; it is helpful to practice this pure platonic love in public places such as parks surrounded by nature and with boundaries; to get acquainted with our own energies.
The path of celibacy will enable a person to master his own senses. To build sensitivity to subtle energies which will allow a person to connect with others in a more caring and loving way and at the same time it is the gateway to higher Godly experiences. The more advanced someone is in the spiritual path, the lesser physical experiences will be needed. Once the little “training wheels” in the bike are removed, you will know how to ride a bike, but until then going down and “kissing the floor” is part of the experience. Have you ever wondered why kids can learn a lot faster than adults? A “kid like” mind is needed in the path of celibacy.
Whatever sensations we perceive through the physical body are closely related with our subtle energies (chakras.)We feel physical attraction for someone; my stomach area will “feel funny.” That is a chakra which was stimulated. As our thoughts increase the desire for pleasure, subtle energy will build up and go “downwards” through the lower end chakras and finally this energy will go out of the body. We may feel a “relief” the sensation that I am ‘back to normal,’ but just as a frog inside a pot of water does not realize that temperature has gone up (if we were to boil that water) until it is too late; likewise, the same action of wastage of our own energy will manifest in pains, ailments, mental and physical weaknesses which we like to conveniently call normal “old age” for lack of knowledge.
That energy needs to be transformed. Attraction among human beings will be there. It is part of understanding duality and the law of karma. The energy which this attraction entails could be a lustful, needy, longing, possessive energy which will end in ejaculation or it could be refined and transformed using our heart chakra. The power of feelings will transform this energy, making it more subtle and meaningful. This energy could be sent to another person, or even God.
As the awareness of this energy of attraction is building up, I need to relax myself by breathing, using my mind to direct that energy at the level of my heart chakra and using my pure good wishes towards the trigger of that energy (person who I felt attracted.) Using shallow breaths and concentrating on my heart and eyes, I send this energy. What I send, I receive. This is a law (karma.) The thoughts sending this energy could be something like: “I wish you the best” Or “I thank you for your beauty, it is lighting up my day,” etc. It is all about changing our thoughts, attitude and feelings towards other human beings.
This practice is the basis for true “platonic love” between people. (Non-sexual love based on feelings, physical hugs, snuggling, etc. where there is no intercourse or mouth kiss in its more purist form.) It is based on feelings and transforming our control of this sexual energy inside us. In the average person this build up of energy will automatically create more tension in the body which will desire to release this energy ending up in sexual intercourse. Obviously, this lack of control of the self is usually tinted with romantic tones, but in actuality once this energy is gone there is a physical release and at the same time an unconscious feeling of depletion, which creates this “love-hate” circle, exploited by Hollywood movies and which makes sex completely misunderstood thus, mysterious and therefore, appealing to the masses.
Build up in tension within ourselves ends up in aggression, possessiveness and lack of self confidence and trust.
Pure platonic love based on feelings does not last 5 minutes. As long as the energy is transformed into pure feelings from the heart, automatically your senses change as well. Your touch becomes sensitive, caresses become light and meaningful, the eyes will transmit loving feelings and most importantly you will feel energized by the power of tenderness and nurtured by true feelings of closeness.
Without the previous training/mastering to be able to move energy across your body and without the understanding of producing feelings from the heart chakra to overcome the “root” lower chakra, any practice of platonic love, will end up in losing the seed, in ejaculation. In other words, wastage, thus; it is helpful to practice this pure platonic love in public places such as parks surrounded by nature and with boundaries; to get acquainted with our own energies.
The path of celibacy will enable a person to master his own senses. To build sensitivity to subtle energies which will allow a person to connect with others in a more caring and loving way and at the same time it is the gateway to higher Godly experiences. The more advanced someone is in the spiritual path, the lesser physical experiences will be needed. Once the little “training wheels” in the bike are removed, you will know how to ride a bike, but until then going down and “kissing the floor” is part of the experience. Have you ever wondered why kids can learn a lot faster than adults? A “kid like” mind is needed in the path of celibacy.
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