Your weaknesses are the way to your strengths

We can identify strengths in our own personalities. Another name for strengths are values and virtues. Those strengths are not really our strengths unless we develop them. If I am able to bench press 200 pounds for one or two reps without exercising, I cannot call that to be strong. I have not explored the extent of my physical strength yet. Once I develop it, then I can see the extent of my own strength. Therefore, strength comes after I am aware of my own weakness. The awareness of my own weakness allows me to train myself to explore my own strength.
Similarly the weakness of lust, when it is observed, recognized and explored, will give us a chance to gain a strength, that is celibacy, purity or the mastery of our own senses.
Many religions and well known gurus and spiritual teachers recognize lust as a vice. Recognition is a good first step, however; the stages of observation and exploration are not considered. Resistance is the method offered to deal with a weakness. Many times the term “do not fall into temptation” is used and it describes our lack of understanding as to why lust is a weakness that needs to be overcome.
I can only explore lust in myself. I can observe it in others, but I can only recognize it in others when I had experienced it in myself. A child will not be able to recognize lust in the eyes of a person, because he/she has not awareness of it. A child has not experienced lust yet.
The experience of lust could be described as “wanting to posses something.” Spiritual teachers may call that “desire.” That desire is not in tune with a peaceful being, since that desire disturbs our own peace of mind. “I want him.” “I want her.” Summons the emotions. The so called “animal instinct” is nothing else but a person who has not experienced mental peace. As we are conscious of our own peaceful mind, then anything that deviates from that and brings a desire is giving us the chance to further understand our own depth of experience of that peace.
Sex lust is not conquered by separating males and females. It is not conquered by shaving our heads so we do not look “attractive” or that both sexes look the same. Sex lust is not conquered by resistance and suppression of emotions. Sex lust is primarily conquered when our feelings are in tune with a peaceful mind. The understanding of the type of relationship that I should have with others will make up my attitude towards a person. For instance, If I instill the relationship of brotherhood among all living beings and if I am consistent with this vision, no matter who I have in front of me, my peaceful mind will maintain the attitude of brotherhood and my thoughts will be aligned to that attitude.
The depth of our recognition and experience of sex lust within ourselves, allows us to recognize the “trigger points” and to switch our thoughts and feelings towards that restful, peaceful mind.
A true peaceful mind is a spiritual mind, because there is the recognition of my true spiritual nature. That recognition needs to be observed and explored; it needs to be tested to see the extent of my own strength despite situations. Life offers those situations as long as I am willing to learn about myself.
Someone may say: “I am celibate. That is why I stay away from men (or women). It is dangerous to mingle with the opposite sex.”
Someone may decide to sleep with the opposite sex to “test” his celibacy…(As I understand, Gandhi did) since one thing is to talk about wine without tasting it and another is to taste it and not to be drunk by its taste…. Or someone may decide to do nothing, because the “desire” does not arise, just like a child. There is no desire to test or no perception of danger when mingling with others.
A child is a true celibate: No clothes at the beach, no shame of it; no desire to possess, no idea of what lust is. Everyone was a child at one point in their life, all we need to know is to remember that. Different paths for different people. Self honesty will show us the best path. I cannot pretend to run a marathon when I just started running a couple of weeks ago, however; the most important step in any training to run a marathon is…the first step, on the first day of the beginning of that training, which will lead us into the way as long as determination is with me.