On love and relationships

Many times fulfillment is found when we find another (??)... Paradoxically, that is far from fulfillment.

Finding another for company could be constructive once we are at ease with our own selves, once loneliness is completely gone, not through others but in "self-relationship." This is a basic axiom of finding spirituality in our life. Without a closer look "inside" we cannot pretend to reach the "outside" with edification in our lives. Society in general, and its "laws" and traditions dictates that "togetherness" is in fact necessary. A "couple" is needed to reproduce and to care for its own off-springs, sort of what animals do in their own hierarchical structure. However, ego, lust, anger and other economically exploited weaknesses belong to humans. That lack of ego in animals allows them to live in a very ordained way for self preservation of their own species. That structure allows them to survive.... unless the egotistical human being appears in their path.

Two human beings displaying ego, lust, anger and attachment could never find what love is; for love is selfless. There is no motive to it. No transaction. No "kickback."

Western human beings in general believe in "falling in love," (something unknown to other cultures) and in making such a state to last for a lifetime. That is an illusion. "Falling in love" does not mean a lasting relationship. Commitment means a lasting relationship, however; commitment is not necessarily related with "falling in love" but perhaps surprisingly, is related with love. "True" love.

Commitment is a mature way of relating. It is no longer about "me" and my needs which need to be fulfilled by "you." Nor about "you" being before "me." Commitment places value in a relationship and what it implies to keep it alive. A relationship means "togetherness" and in that "individuality" is merged. Commitment demonstrates care. It is about actions. It is about walking our own talk.

There cannot be commitment to another unless we find meaning in committing to our own selves first. That commitment entails the pursue of those values which enhances our own life and the the lives of others. That is called sometimes, self-respect. It is through the nourishing soil of self-respect how its fruit, love; appears.

The experience of love in our lives brings the ideal of beauty close to our hearts. Those feelings become our own "fuel" our own self fulfillment and magically; enlighten the path of others touched by that light. Love transcends "me" to reach others, when "me" is no longer there.