Daring not to be “normal” in a society that only tolerate “normal” individuals

One of the challenges when following the path of celibacy is the feeling of awkwardness, not being able to fit again into current standards.
There is some sort of discrimination going on. If you are single and you do not have a partner, automatically you become an outcast, a “something is wrong” case that “needs to be fixed”.

Those pressures can be tolerated up to a point... and then some strategies are needed to deal with this issue. I have done my share of those, but somehow I preferred the straight forward method of “breaking the news” so I can be myself. If you like it good.. if you don't...oh well...

Unfortunately, to be celibate in a sex propelled society is equivalent to having a death sentence over your head. Some people may experience this pressure to be higher than others, depending on how likely they are to be pursued or wanted. Going out, having fun, etc. becomes a difficulty.

Religious minded circles have this intrinsic protection. Members gather and have the same likes and dislikes which makes an ideal environment for support. There are many marriages and partnerships without a sexual life. However, those couples cannot be considered celibate since they may have other sexual practices or their “celibacy” is the product of a dis-functional life style rather than a choice for a higher purpose.

A person practicing celibacy need to be able to survive in this sexual minded environment.
It is my experience that the greatest protection is your commitment to be celibate. If we look at our own lifestyle and see the reason and feel in our hearts that we are following this path because it is an intrinsic expression of ourselves, if what we feel for spirituality or God is represented in this commitment; then no matter what happens around, that value will save our commitment.

Commitment is an extraordinary word. Commitment is related with being faithful to our own path, values, ideas and feelings. True celibacy is a matter of the mind. It deals with our thoughts. If we have not worked with our own feelings and to be able to recognize sexual energy within and be able to transform it; we are kidding ourselves if we think that we can maintain this life style.

If you are by yourself and you do not belong to a particular group for support, you will have a tough time; but the reward is even greater. You will not need to “hide” from others or be afraid of “getting involved with someone”. If you play out the consequences in your mind as if it was a movie being fast forwarded, you will realize that the mirage of something “greater” or “romantically appealing” when losing sight of your chosen path is one of the worst mistakes that we could make against ourselves.

Celibacy for the sake of celibacy is self denial or a psychological, mental or physical issue. Celibacy for the sake of being a spiritual being and discovering yourself is the noblest and rewarding path. Human beings do not realize that are unable to know what is love. Why? Because jealousy, hate, attachment and familiarity are part of our behavior. It is a mirage to pretend to live “ever happily” with someone who has those traits. Therefore, celibacy allows me to go deeper into myself without hurting myself or someone else for the sake of pleasure; and to look at that lust that is tormenting me and others, to closely look at that ego and that anger popping up like an internet ad.. and to do something about it. To work at it. Then perhaps, there will be a time to share our lives with someone, but no until these “normal traits” which prick one another; are gone. That commitment will pay off.

If you keep these things in mind when mingling with someone or when having those social “pressures” thrown at you; it will be easier to “draw the line”. A friend that does not allow you to be yourself... is not your friend. Better alone than in conflictive company.