Many believe that lust is a “natural” function of the eyes: “The criminal eyes”. For some, to “control the eyes” is the answer to control lust. Some, don't even care about controlling lust for they feel that they “like it like that”. Different answers form different perspectives and different realities.
A garbage can is filthy for a well educated human; but for a fly... it is heaven.
Lust has been a problem for many in the history of humanity. Wars have been waged in the name of lust. No wonder in the path of bhakti (devotion), there are stories of people taken their eyes and becoming blind.
Or how about those who “renounce” the opposite gender? Or those who call the “opposite gender names” to feel “safe” and “victorious” because they have “rejected” their source of “temptation”.
Conquering lust is not the adequate term once the “fear” and “repugnance” of such a “dirty behavior” is not suppressed in our search for celibacy, but rather understood. “Conquering” means an everlasting battle. It is about transformation.
We cannot “conquer” one side of duality. We need to embrace duality and transform the energy of it.
Rejection is out. Suppression is out. Fear is out.
Sounds good? Let us make it plain and simple.
There is an advice from older traditions, for those trying to remain celibate: “See everyone as brothers and sisters.” A deeper understanding of these words will point into transforming our vision.
Simple?
Once our vision changes, our attitude will change. Once our attitude changes; that will make an impact (perception) on others.
This practice requires extreme awareness and to develop the feelings to overcome the “habit” of behaving/ sending the vibes of a “normal” Joe: “I want you, let me make it clear.” That is the so called “normal” behavior.
We have learned to put the physical body first in our awareness and we have forgotten about the feelings. A male may “see” someone desirable or a female may “hear” something “nice” from someone. That does not trigger anything until our emotions kick in.... emotions are feelings in the consciousness of the body, in dualism.
Therefore, maintaining our vision is the first step. That vision automatically creates our attitude (our actions, behavior) and that creates an impact on the other person that we are dealing with.
Transforming those feelings of “here is something which I desire” to “here is something which I care for” makes a difference. Our attitude then will be of care for the other person.
That caring vibration has an impact on the person which we care about. He/She will say about us: “such a sweet caring person”. That is the “impact”.
The same happens when someone describes myself to another person. That perception of me is the “impact” that I have imprinted due to my attitude towards someone. The origin was my vision. I transformed my vision.
Devotion and traditional guru advice tells me: “do not look at someone below the eyes, otherwise that is where problems start”. That is plain body consciousness. My vision does not deal with my eyes, it deals with my feelings. I am a soul, my language are my feelings...
As my vision changes my physical eyes will change as well. I cannot have “criminal eyes” if my vision has changed.
My vision deals with the knowledge, the experience that “I am a soul” and so the other person is just another point of light moving that body. My thoughts are not there to interfere with waste of duality, but just my feelings are there for that moment.
Why a 4 year old male/female looks at a 5 year old of a different gender without the “criminal eye”?
That kid vision makes the difference. As his/her vision; his/her behavior will be... and as such, his/her impact will be on the other person.
Thus, vision makes our attitude and our attitude makes an impact (perception that others have about us).
Celibacy starts in our vision and our vision is supported by knowledge of our true nature.
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4 comments:
Nice article Luis.Thanks.
When looking at the pictures of realized yogees and gurus, there was a smile, normal and yet not like a normal person's smile as if looking in a distance, I had always wondered what it was. There is a certain tenderness in their looks. The way they look seems to radiate feelings of purity and oneness with no trace of the physical. On the other extreme we see people who are so lusty that they are always staring at strangers in a way that is not just a stare but something more.
The longer my period of my chastity goes the more relaxed and tender my vision seems to become. People become more receptive to speaking and become so much more open than otherwise. Subconsciously it seems that they can feel the pure vibes from the eyes.
This is a great approach, focusing on feelings:
Devotion and traditional guru advice tells me: “do not look at someone below the eyes, otherwise that is where problems start”. That is plain body consciousness. My vision does not deal with my eyes, it deals with my feelings. I am a soul, my language are my feelings...
Yes, I too have long felt that the traditional eastern approach to celibacy and purity is inherently flawed, and cannot achieve its objective, which is freedom from lust in thoughts.
Transforming those feelings of “here is something which I desire” to “here is something which I care for” makes a difference.
Absolutely: I have found that this approach works very well. Lust is just an extreme form of desire - selfish wanting - which can be transmuted into selfless love and caring. The object of your affection then becomes a fellow shining soul rather than an object to be conquered. Great happiness emerges from such a transformation from wanting to giving.
I would add that this approach is a great enhancement to life even when celibacy is not the aim.
Yes, this is wonderful. I was for years chained to a lustful vision. Your post gets at the remedy succinctly and with much wisdom. A change in vision, yes.
In a way, it is the golden rule. I don't want to be seen as an object for someone's selfish lusts, so I do not want to do that to other's.
All these things that have been done to wage battle against lust are not the answer. The demonizing of women, the veils to cover them, the mutilations, the "not looking at someone below the eyes".
We need a whole new vision.
Thank you
Thank you for your follow up insights, Harsh, Deepian and Billy Joe. It is appreciated.
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